- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I had that dream again. You know. The one where I do obscene things to penguins with a croquet mallet.
- Candy: We definitely need to get you out of the stable more.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: And so, the battle rages on and on, month after month, year after year...
- Dave: Uh, it's only been five minutes.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: I don't know why I try.
- [Dave is screaming and running around the world and comes across some polar bears fishing]
- Dave: AHHHHHHHHH!
- Polar Bear 1: What was that?
- Polar Bear 2: If it ain't fish, I ain't interested, that's my motto.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Faffy couldn't help but to wonder: would the other dragons like him? Would they be nice to him or would they poke him and call him Jasper?
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: ...For it is they, they who will suffer!
- Candy: Whatever. Can we go now?
- [pause]
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Yeah.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I made you a song... of joy.
- [puts record on]
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: [singing] I had a dream about... some shrieking rats / With red hot pokers, and big pointy hats / They didn't listen to my cries... or screams / But took their nastiness to *wild* extremes!
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I'd like to try out for the part... of the Grim Reaper... who ushers screaming souls into the next life...
- Dave: There is no Grim Reaper in this play.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I could improvise!
- Chuckles the Silly Piggy: I'm the master of all evil. THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! I can't help it if I have an adorably, curly tail.
- Dave: Ready, Lula?
- Lula the Magic Sword: I refuse to come out like this.
- Dave: What's wrong?
- Lula the Magic Sword: Her *ladyship* thought I needed a more "civilized" look.
- [she comes out covered with...]
- Dave: Are those roses?
- Lula the Magic Sword: Yes.
- Dave: Cause I'm ALLERGIC TO ROSES.
- Candy: He was your first owner?
- [pointing to Argon]
- Candy: Psshaw, you're like, 20,000 years old.
- Lula the Magic Sword: [preparing to fire energy beam]
- [shouts]
- Lula the Magic Sword: What's your point?
- Candy: Uhh... you don't look a day older than 16,000.
- Candy: Could I BE a bigger freak?
- Lula the Magic Sword: Based on your genetics, I'd say the prospects are terrific.
- [fighting a dragon]
- Dave: [to Lula] Come on! Do one of those magic energy blast dealies.
- Lula the Magic Sword: What? And get a nasty letter from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dragons?
- Dave: [trying to hide Faffy from Strom the Slayer in a fish bowl] You're going to have to give up this whole *breathing* thing.
- Candy: Okay, I've figured out a way to get you and Argon back together, but you have to utterly respect my every decision.
- Lula the Magic Sword: How about, instead I don't?
- Candy: Works for me.
- Oswidge: Wow, it's a whole new kind of music! I'm gonna call it Rock & Roll, because it was like being hit with a rock, and I'm hungry for a roll.
- Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: And so, with a speed Dave usually reserves for fleeing in terror.