Fat Slags

Whether or not "Fat Slags" is among the worst films ever made is up for debate. The production values aren't really bad and the film technically speaking isn't horrible. However, the script and characters are among the most detestable and disgusting I've ever seen...and I have almost 19,000 reviews to my credit!!

The film consists of two extremely untalented and shrill actresses in fat suits behaving like pigs. I won't mention the women's actual names, as I don't wish to give them any publicity whatsoever--plus I cannot see how either worked again after starring in this film. Their characters, Sandra and Tracey, fart, rape delivery men, abuse everyone around them and fart...a lot. This sort of subhuman act makes even the most obnoxious and talentless comedians seem like thespians compared to them. Their gross and shrill antics go on and on and on without letup and it's no exaggeration that there really is no equal to them in awfulness.

The story is that a big media owner (Jerry O'Connell) sees these disgusting 'women' on TV (as they are destroying a talk show and sexually assaulting the host) and decides to make them super-stars-- all because he's had a traumatic brain injury. So, you see them walk the runways of a fashion show, on TV again and pretty much abuse everyone around them. And, completely inexplicably, they become super-stars--and are able to then spread their self-absorbed lifestyle and attitudes to the world.

Throughout this film are various appearances by B-list actors who are apparently attempting to become D-list celebrities! How they allowed themselves to be seen with these completely untalented actresses is beyond me...and may just be the result of real head injuries! The film is tough to take, shrill and devoid of talent or entertainment value unless you are a complete idiot. A film to be avoided unless you are showing it to detainees at Gitmo to make them talk.

The only thing in this god-awful mess of a film that I did like were the two men from the North of England who tried to make it to London. EVERYONE kept thinking that they were illegal aliens because they couldn't be understood by anyone due to their heavy North England accents...a funny observation about the MANY British dialects. Still, while mildly amusing, the rest of the film was like going for a swim in a septic pool and this somewhat amusing subplot was wasted.

If you are expecting to see a film featuring the Viz comic strip characters Sandra Burke and Tracey Tunstall you will be disappointed. The characters in the movie are different. They have different personalities and are portrayed in a more favourable and sympathetic light. In the comic strip the girls are disgustingly loutish rude and bullying. In the movie they are more sensitive and likable. The film itself is pretty dreadful although not totally unwatchable and you can fast forward through the worst bits. The story, script, acting - everything really - are all bad. It has a few - very few - good moments. I give it two stars as there are worse films out there. Conclusion: there was only ever going to be one reason to watch this film and that was to see the Fat Slags, but, as they are not in the movie, there really is no reason to watch this film.

OK this movie ain't bad, I mean it was an OK laugh.

It just lacks any real plot, it's bland, and the humour doesn't really make up for the whole film being about two, fat, loud mouthed northerners.

I was just really shocked it wasn't better, mainly because there are LOADS of top notch British actors in it. The character 'San' was in 'Smack the Pony' that was really popular, James Dreyfus, was in 'Gimme gimme gimme' another popular show. Ralf Little, also in another popular show, 'The Royale Family'. Not to mention Anthony Head and Naomi Campbell. The film makers even got Eamonn Homes on there, along with the guy that used to do 'Have I Got News For You', Angus Deayton. And many more...

Why am I mentioning these names that most readers don't bat an eyelid to? It's because they're decent British actors/actresses/whatever, and they are in this s*** film. Whoever made this film had a lot of cash, to bag all those actors/actresses to star in it. Now all of them wish they hadn't starred in it, I bet they all deny they are in it, it's that bad.

But hey, what the hell can you expect? It's called 'FAT SLAGS' and its based of a comic. If there's 'nowt' else on, watch it, its a cheap laugh. Just don't expect a HILARIOUS film, with a plot.

That sounds like a pretty outrageous claim, but see the movie and you will know where I'm coming from (oo-err! bit of innuendo!) Really though, this is an abomination of a film, dreadful in every possible aspect. As a life long Viz reader I know what a Fat slags movie should be like, and this just ain't it. Similarities between the comic book characters and on screen counterparts was minimal: they're fat, oh yeah, and, well, that's it really. They should be constantly looking for sex, getting drunk and generally being loud and offensive: doesn't sound like much of a plot, but come, the film only lasts 75 or so minutes, (which really drags). The two actresses were also very poor, just plain annoying. And how could they miss out the trademark laugh? NA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA: no such laughs in this movie. Save time and read the comic instead.

Having been madly in love with the Fats Slags since I was a young man, I was disappointed with this movie. How on earth can directors and producers continue to imagine that it can still be funny to take ordinary people and make them rich and successful, after Rosanne destroyed her career by doing exactly that with her working class show. This is without the incredibly clichéd notion that there is something inherently funny about working class people from the north of England. They talk in a funny way , they say funny things and they don't understand sophisticated ideas like art. What a loads of dated old rubbish. The charm of the fat slags was always that they are only concerned with satisfying their immediate needs whether food, sex or anything else and this is what makes them perfect women. They have a view of themselves which depends only on the reflection one slag provides for the other and they are completely indifferent to the feelings and sensibilities of anyone else. These are the Fat Slags as the ideal women they are, the characters in this film are a complete travesty. Still, they can't take away my dreams.