- Garth Marenghi: As a horror writer I don't ask for much. I just hope I've changed the way you think about life.
- Thornton: I need to crack this, Dag, cos if not, Won Ton will be all over me like knockers in a wind tunnel.
- [Opening lines:]
- Garth Marenghi: I'm Garth Marenghi. Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary. Plus actor. You're about to enter the world of my imagination. You are entering my Darkplace.