- T. Bag: Why should one child have a lovely, happy Christmas while another child has a downright miserable time?
- T. Shirt: Are you serious?
- T. Bag: Indubitably! All children should have a downright miserable time. Especially her, after all the grief she's caused me. But I'll get my revenge, see if I don't!
- Sally Simpkins: T-Bag!
- T. Bag: Oh, look my boy, a horrid wretched ragamuffin. Be off with you, you grubby creature!
- T. Shirt: It's Sally.
- T. Bag: Quiet! Away with you, urchin.
- Sally Simpkins: You brought me here didn't you? I bet you did. I want to go home.
- T. Bag: [screams in disgust] She touched me, the scrawny little beggar touched me!
- T. Shirt: But it's Sally.
- T. Bag: Having a horrid Christmas are we? What a shame, what a pity, poor little pauper. Come my boy, let's away to our blazing log fire and stuff our faces full of mince pies and merriment.
- Sally Simpkins: Well you can't just leave me here.
- T. Bag: Toodlepip.
- [to T-Shirt]
- T. Bag: Come on you.
- Giles Pickens: 'A Christmas Cracker' by Giles Pickens. Hm... 'A Christmas Stocking' by Giles Pickens? No, no. Ah... a Christmas hamper for Giles Pickens, now that is more like it.
- Sally Simpkins: This is the worst Christmas I've ever had.
- Giles Pickens: [cut to Giles Pickens] This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
- Sally Simpkins: So it was really T-Bag who was the ghost of Christmas.
- Giles Pickens: The ghost of Christmas. What a good idea.
- Emily Scrumptious: And to think you all thought I was a mean old miser.
- Giles Pickens: A mean old miser, that's wonderful, wonderful!
- T. Shirt: Some story eh?
- Giles Pickens: It's a fantastic story. It's got everything: misers, ghosts, the lot. Everything I need for my new book. I've even thought of the most wonderful title: Giles Pickens' 'A Christmas... Turkey'. What do you think?