- Beaver #1: Hey, what you got?
- Beaver #2: Wood. What you got?
- Beaver #1: Wood. You wanna trade?
- Elliot: Ian's right, I'm a loser
- Boog: No you're not a loser
- Elliot: Yes I am!
- Boog: No you're not!
- Elliot: Yes!
- Boog: No!
- Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck. What do you call that?
- Boog: Ahhh... a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... I look like a bear, I talk like a bear but I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods!
- Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
- Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers.
- Elliot: I have a glass eye.
- Boog: I can't snap.
- Elliot: I thought log was a colour.
- Boog: I can't see my feet!
- Elliot: I killed a man!
- [Both laugh]
- Elliot: [singing, to the tune of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"] Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/ He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee/ One day the elf could take no more/ so he went to bang on the rude dwarf's door/ and what do you know, they suddenly both were marrrrried.
- [about the coffee he found in the dumpster]
- Elliot: Yuck. Yuck. Yuck! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's like freedom in a cup!
- Shaw: How far does this conspiracy go? How many animals are in on it? God bless America! I hope the bald eagle hasn't turned!
- Boog: [Eating animal crackers] Yeah, and the giraffes taste almost exactly like the elephants. That's messed up.
- Elliot: [when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
- Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
- Elliot: Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.
- [Boog reluctantly goes to the bush]
- Elliot: Show us your GRRR face, nature boy!
- [explaining the woods to Boog]
- Elliot: Okay, Forest 101: These tall stick things are called trees. The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.
- Boog: [holds Elliot over a cliff] Take a good look around, Elliot. What's missing?
- Elliot: Wait, don't tell me, I know this one...
- Boog: Timberline is missing!
- Elliot: Oh, I was just going to say that.
- Boog: My garage is missing. My breakfast, lunch and dinner are missing! My life is missing, and it's all... your... fault!
- Elliot: What are you going to do?
- [drops him into his hand]
- Elliot: AHHHHHHHH!
- [realizes that he wasn't falling]
- Elliot: Ha ha! you're funny. I was like, "No way" and then I was like, "Uh-huh!" Ha ha ha ha!
- [Boog throws him over his shoulder]
- Boog: When I'm a bear-skin rug, they can walk all over me. Until then, I ain't going down without a fight.
- McSquizzy: That was just a warning, alright? Try it again, I'll be kicking your furry, brown bahookie!
- Boog: [stumbles into garage and sees Dinkleman staring from his bed] What are you looking at? I told you not to wait up!
- McSquizzy: Mess not with the Fuzzytail Clan, protectors of the weak, crusaders of the righteous, guardians of the pine.
- Elliot: You know, I've been thinking, we should have a secret handshake, and like nicknames and stuff. Like, I can call you Boogster, and you can call me the Incredible Mr. E. You like that? I just made it up.
- Reilly: It's a pet! He'll give us away!
- Mr. Weenie: I've been living a lie!
- [Tears off his sweater]
- Mr. Weenie: Take me with you!
- Bobbie: Alright, Mr. Weenie, Mama's gonna go take a dip.
- Mr. Weenie: Good. Mama's getting kind of gamey.