- Spider-Man: Oh no! Dr. Connors' class! I got so caught up in what I was doing, I forgot all about it! He's gonna kill me.
- Spider-Man: [closing narration] Mary Jane, the girl next door, the girl I love, and now, the girl waiting for me at the end of the day. Fate handed me amazing powers, and with those powers came a burden of responsibility. Somehow though, having her with me makes that burden lighter. Still, in the end, it's mine to bear. After all, there's still only one... Spider-Man!
- Spider-Man: So, skin-tight leather. Doesn't that kinda chafe?
- Black Cat: You'll never find out, that's for sure.
- Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] Nothing like a little New York water to clear out the sinuses.
- [Spider-Man falls and hits the ground hard during the tutorial]
- Tour Guide: Ouch! I would work on that landing. Remember, it isn't falling that hurts you, it's the sudden stop at the end.
- Black Cat: Do you always chase girls that brush you off?
- Spider-Man: Only the naughty ones. I have standards after all.
- [Spider-Man sees Mysterio for the first time]
- Spider-Man: Okay, I'll bite. How *did* the fishbowl get stuck on your head?
- Mysterio: Insolent human! You are no match for the power of Mysterio!
- Spider-Man: Mysterio? I think I had a bowl of Mysterios for breakfast.
- Black Cat: Shouldn't you be helping some old lady across the street or something?
- Spider-Man: Nah, I already got that merit badge.
- Quentin Beck: The laser is overheating? Stupid machine! Work! Work! Come on! Work!
- Spider-Man: Problems with your laser, Beck? I hear there are pills for that now.
- Tour Guide: So you want a hint about sticking to walls? Here's one... you're Spider-Man! You can stick to walls! Yippe-Skippe!
- Mysterio: You will meet your end in my funhouse of doom!
- Spider-Man: I thought you were an alien.
- Mysterio: Silence!
- Woman: Spidey, my purse!
- [Spider-Man returns the stolen purse to the Woman]
- Spider-Man: Voila! One purse.
- Woman: I can't believe you helped me.
- [enters a gymnasium and sees crooks hiding inside]
- Spider-Man: Huh. Hiding in a gym. How's that working out for you?
- [Spider-Man crawls into an apartment through a window]
- Spider-Man: Wow. Mysterio's hidden fortress looks just like an apartment.
- [Spider-Man walks to a wall and a bookcase slides open, revealing an open elevator doorway]
- Spider-Man: A hidden door concealed by a bookcase? Mysterio, you brilliant fiend!
- [chuckles]
- Spider-Man: I, uh, have to get back to my patrol. See you around.
- Mary Jane Watson: Yeah. Next time a bunch of thugs try to jump me.
- Spider-Man: It's a date.
- [Spider-Man runs into a dance club hideout and finds a band of criminals inside]
- Spider-Man: There are clubs in New York where the beautiful people hang out. This clearly is not one of them!
- [Spider-Man runs into a dance club hideout and finds a band of criminals inside]
- Spider-Man: You guys must be the dancing fools I've heard about!
- [while fighting robbers in a convenient store]
- Spider-Man: I think you wanted the Stop and Rob down the street!
- Spider-Man: The whole city will be destroyed.
- Dr. Otto Octavius: Only you will be destroyed today, murderous pest.
- Tour Guide: Everyone looks at the controller and whines,
- [in a whiney voice]
- Tour Guide: "There's only one attack button". Will you gimme a break, just because there's only one button *called* attack, doesn't mean it's the only one you can use. It's called a manual. Try to show a little innitiative at least.
- Spider-Man: [after falling in the water] I need to be more careful, swimming definately doesn't suit me.
- [as Spider-Man swings above the Statue of Liberty]
- Mysterio: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses... so that I can enslave them all!
- [Mysterio laughs]
- Spider-Man: ...Okay, that's just wrong.
- [as he finds a hologram of Mysterio in the control room]
- Spider-Man: A hologram. Why should I be surprised?
- Mysterio: You may have foiled my plans this time, Spider-Man. But I'll be back. I promise you that!
- [laughs]
- Spider-Man: Uh-huh. Heard it before... about a million times.
- Rhino: Spider-Man, huh? Finally! I've been dying to see what you can do! Let's go! Ah, just try to break through my armor!
- [snorts]
- Rhino: I'm gonna break your bones and make you cry for your mama!
- Spider-Man: Rhino. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're strong, but dumb.
- Thug: We're turning the tables on you, Spider-Man!
- Spider-Man: [in mocked fear] Oh, no! Please don't throw me in the briar patch!
- Tour Guide: Well, sequel time already, huh? Welcome back, I guess. I'm sure you missed me more than I missed you. Anyway, things have changed around here since last time, so they dragged me back at great expense to explain what's up. First things first. You're not much of a wall crawler if you can't, you know, stick to walls, so here's what you do. You walk or run into a wall and hold the grab button. Voila.
- [makes popping noise]
- Tour Guide: You stick to the wall. It works when you're swinging or jumping, too.
- Tour Guide: Okay, so the next thing I want you to do is jump off the building. I mean it, just jump. Hey, I wouldn't tell you to do something dangerous and life-threatening, would I? Come on!
- [Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and falls in slow-motion]
- Tour Guide: Do you always do what people tell you? You know, there's a word for that: LOSER! So, what now, wise guy? Just a little friendly advice while you're falling to your death. You're going to want to shoot out a webline to save yourself. Push the left analog stick in the direction you want to go and press the swing button. Oh, by the way, it'll only work if there's something swingable in range, okay?
- [Four robbers get out of a stopped car after Spider-Man arrives]
- Tour Guide: Looks like the robbers are escaping on foot. Go teach 'em a lesson. You know, by beating the snot out of them. I mean, this isn't a civics class. What do you expect?
- Tour Guide: Between swinging, zipping, wall sprinting, and pole swinging, you should be able to stay off the ground and travel stylishly all over the city. No excuses.
- Spider-Man: Wait! What's your name?
- Black Cat: Me? I'm Black Cat, and I just crossed your path. Now if you'll excuse me...
- [Black Cat flips off of the rooftop and leaves]
- Spider-Man: Whoa.
- [Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and swings away on a web rope]
- Spider-Man: Black Cat, huh? Black Cat seems okay. Maybe a bit of an attitude, though. I wonder if there's a Mr. Black Cat. Oh, what am I thinking?