Apocalypse and the Beauty Queen

It is impossible to watch this movie and not see it as the final result of watching reality TV and celebrating vapid starlets and beauty queens. The fact that some 90 million people voted for someone exactly like the beauty queen (Beverly Hynds) in this film is testament to our fascination with the lowest common denominator.

It is a post-apocalyptic world, where warlords rule. In this case, the county is ruled by a fading beauty queen who kidnaps young girls. Sylvie (Courtney Kocak) is one such girl, who also narrates.

This queen, much like the Blood Countess soon starts killing the young girls to add their blood to her bath water. She is obsessed with beauty and loyalty.

Gunner Hanson (Hellblock 13, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) plays a very prominent role, and gives a great talk on aging.

Like all people in power, there is always someone waiting to dethrone you. In this case her assistant (Katie Rudisel) is waiting for her to finally flip.

Great nudity from Kocak and Rudisel, and a great view, although very very short, of our lovely Debbie.

This gorgeous shot on 35 mm film is a surprisingly excellent entry to the current spate of indie films I have seen thus far this year. The story is unique (any one sick of all the remakes recently?) and absorbing. It is a classic tale told in the near future in an post-apocalyptic setting. Beauty has worth beyond anything else which is very reflective of today's times with celebrities becoming famous for just being famous. This multi-leveled story is timeless and shot so well it's definitely worth checking out. The actors, sets and themes are in a class by themselves. It's not surprising the director is a glamor photographer as the composition reflects his still work perfectly.

Amber, a bitter, spiteful, extremely vain ex-beauty model goes on her day by day wheelings and dealings as she's queen of her county after the apocalypse has come and gone. Sylvie (Courtney Kocak) narrates the film and tells her tale of how so met Amber. Gunner Hansen is also on hand as an old man who takes Sylvie in right after the world turns. If you ever hoped that good old Hansen would speak more in his movie roles, you're in luck as he goes on a lentghy monologue about getting old and his old hands. It made me hearken back to the days when he was mostly silent in actual good films as "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" & "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers". Mack-10 should REALLY just stick with rapping. But funnily enough those two are among the BETTER actors in this million dollar stinker. Quite possibly the worst movie based on the Elizabeth Bathory legend ever made. It takes a lot to make that particular story into something so deathly dull and lifeless. Yet this film accomplishes that task with rancid gusto. Pure art-house drivel.

My Grade: D-

This gorgeously-shot little movie gives audiences a welcome break from the current trend of gory torture films. Hyndes and Hansen give excellent, multi-layered performances and the script is surprisingly adult and deliberately-paced. No easy answers given. Production Design is also outstanding, giving audiences just enough to establish a post-apocalyptic civilization that we've never seen before. Well done on all counts. Smugala's direction is particularly deft in handling the multiple flashbacks and points of view, as well as juggling each character's motives and motivations. Check this out if you're in the mood for a little more depth. Not for the casual viewer. This is a movie that has to be paid attention to in order to be appreciated.

I know some people are going to say it's a homage, or it's a comedy or it's both. It's garbage. Lame story, poor acting and bad directing. If one is going to do the apocalypse on a budget - or as looks here, no budget, try and find places that look bad, and make people look bad as well. This does neither well. Not worth whatever it was filmed on.