Katie Cassidy credited as playing...
Kelli Presley
- [after seeing a sex tape of Kyle cheating on her with Megan]
- Kelli Presely: [crying] Get out! Get the fuck out! Am I gonna show up on there? Isn't sex enough, Kyle? You need little visual trophies to get your thrill?
- Kyle: [shouting] Why don't you shut the fuck up?
- Dana Mathis: Hey, hey, hey!
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: Go, Kyle, now!
- [Lauren rushes to the bathroom and vomits]
- Kyle: Kelli, I really like you. A lot. I don't blame you for hating me. But I wasn't dealing, I wasn't knocking over 7-11s. I didn't hurt anybody.
- [begins to walk away]
- Dana Mathis: Yeah, Merry Christmas, asshole.
- Kyle: Fuck all you bitches.
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: Didn't I see Clair earlier?
- Kelli Presely: Isn't she upstairs writing a card to her sister?
- Melissa Kitt: No, I think her sister picked her up earlier. Remember, this is the occasion for Clair and her sister and her mom to bury the hatchet and rediscover each other.
- Dana Mathis: I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head.
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: [Searching for Billy's present under the christmas tree] Billy! Billy! Girls, I can't find Billy's present under the tree here. Come on, girls, we can't start the secret santa without Billy's present! Hello? Who drew Billy's name?
- Melissa Kitt: Um, Ms. Mac, it's a secret santa.
- Dana Mathis: [Doing her nails] Can we just get on with this thing? So I can party for a few days before having to deal with the family on Christmas.
- Melissa Kitt: Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ballsack!
- Dana Mathis: It'll stop. The party gods wouldn't allow me to be here alone during Christmas break.
- Kelli Presely: Oh, I'll be here, Dana.
- [Disapointed]
- Kelli Presely: Yeah, they're makin' me work next week.
- Melissa Kitt: That sucks, everyone should be home for Christmas.
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: All right, all right, who's not here?
- Kelli Presely: Um, like everybody.
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: Chelsea?
- Kelli Presely: She went home this morning.
- Kelli Presely: They're not your family... and your brother's not here
- Agnes: No... MY DADDY IS!
- [Her brother *and* father bursts through the floorboards behind them]
- Kelli Presely: [phone rings] Alpha Kappa... hello? Hello, hello? Very funny, Kyle.
- Kelli Presely: I think someone's in trouble.
- [turns receiver onto speaker phone]
- Billy Lenz: [on the telephone, in a muffled, maniacal voice] Where is Agnes? Billy! What your mother and I must know is where is Agnes? Merry Christmas, Agnes. You are in my house, I can see you. Everyone should be home for Christmas! Santa Claus is dead.
- Lauren Hanon: Hey, shouldn't you get goin', don't you have lots of toys to deliver to good little boys and girls?
- Billy Lenz: I'm gonna kill you.
- Heather: Call the police!
- Lauren Hanon: Please. The police are gonna do shit about one wack job phone call.
- Dana Mathis: Just dial *69.
- Melissa Kitt: That just calls him back unless there's something you need him to clarify.
- Melissa Kitt: [checks caller ID; the phone reads Clark Crosby] Caller ID says Clair's cell.
- Heather: [looking at Lauren] You really shouldn't provoke someone like that.
- Lauren Hanon: What would you know about dealing with anyone other than your NASCAR daddy?
- Heather: I'm goin' home.
- Lauren Hanon: [Heather walks through Melissa and Lauren, bumping Lauren's shoulder] Yeah, yeah. Run to daddy!
- Heather: [turns around] At least my family wants me to come home.
- Kelli Presely: You guys. Come on. It's like, Christmas time.
- Ms. Barbara MacHenry: Yeah. Come on, Heather. What about your present?
- Heather: [turns, continues walking] Give it to Billy.
- Heather: [turns back around and Eve appears in front of her; she gasps]
- Kelli Presely: [shouting at Megan's door sarcastically] If you dont come downstairs, I'm taking your presents!