Night of the Chupacabra
Written and directed by Ted Rivera
I have no idea what a chupacabra is actually supposed to be anymore. Are they like werewolves? Are they the missing link in the Panamanian jungle? Are they gargoyle like? Or are they simply aliens from another planet here to kill us and watch our drama like a reality show couch potato? I have no idea anymore.
According to this bizarre parody?! The chupacabra is an alien much in the vein of the greys. It hides in the trees and blasts some lasers at folks. But it is such a tiny portion of the plot that it essentially is meaningless. This is another one of those films where the writer and filmmaker pack entirely too many characters and too many side plots into the film. It becomes bloated and confusing. It is only 82 minutes long. How much time could possibly be devoted to each individual subplot to make it worthwhile?
It doesn't matter because the movie doesn't care. It throws in the men in black and a kidnapping plot and a journalist clawing her way to a world changing story. It is all over the place and randomly the chupacabra alien will kill someone. None of these plots are interesting. They follow the most rudimentary storyline. The actors are not skilled enough to imbue something extra into these caricatures. They do the bare minimum or they turn into outlandish cartoon characters.
I think this movie might be a legit parody but I'm not sure even after sitting on it for a moment or two. That would be a good way to excuse the horrendous storytelling. I guess some accolades are in order for creating something so out there and so much like a coast to coast AM casserole. If this is your thing, have a look. But there is no way I can recommend this flaming trash fire of a movie. Nope. We're going animated for the next Chupacabra movie. It is the fourth film in a popular series of Mexican animated films. I've seen none of them. I think I might have finally lost it.
I give this movie an F.
