- Osmond Blueburger: Do you want to grow up to be a criminal? Is that it? Do you want to land in jail?
- Grace Blueburger: We are trying to understand you, Jacob. Why do you have to do things like that?
- Jacob Blueburger: It was an accident.
- Osmond Blueburger: How is that possible, to accidentally stab someone in the hand with a compass?
- Jacob Blueburger: He called me a "dirty Jew."
- Grace Blueburger: He called you what?
- Jacob Blueburger: They're always making Jewish jokes.
- Osmond Blueburger: Honestly, Jacob? Who are?
- Jacob Blueburger: The kids. And the teachers.
- Grace Blueburger: The teachers?
- Jacob Blueburger: I swear. They're all anti-Semites.
- Grace Blueburger: Sweetie, why didn't you tell us this before?
- Esther Blueburger: [Eavesdropping] Genius.
- Esther Blueburger: [introducing herself to the public school English class] Blueberger. Err-Blueberzh. Er-Blueberg. Ger-Blueberrrrrr. Rger-BlueBUH. Erger-Blueb. Berger-Blue. Eberger-BLUH. Ueberger-Bllll. Lueberger-Buh. Blueberger.
- Sunni: Esther, you can have Braces Boy.
- Esther Blueburger: What if we get them caught?
- [snogging]
- Braces Boy: What's wrong?
- Esther Blueburger: Nothing, it's just that you taste a bit like Cheezels.
- Braces Boy: They got stuck in my braces.
- Esther Blueburger: [Shows that she also has braces] Same.
- Braces Boy: Don't you like Cheezels?
- Esther Blueburger: I prefer burger rings.
- Braces Boy: Could I touch your boobs?
- Esther Blueburger: [Long nervous pause] No.
- [both continue snogging]
- [Esther meets Sunni outside her house while escaping from her Bat Mitzvah party]
- Sunni: Hi Cinderella, you forgot something.
- [walks to Esther and hands her back her shoe]
- Sunni: Nice outfit.
- Esther Blueburger: This is how you think? It's brand new. Do you like it?
- Sunni: No.
- Esther Blueburger: My mum made me wear it.
- Sunni: And the tie?
- Esther Blueburger: My dad made me wear it.
- Sunni: You do everything Mummy and Daddy say?
- Esther Blueburger: Yes, no... sometimes.
- Rabbi: [Practice chanting in Hebrew for the Bat Mitvah]
- Esther Blueburger, Jacob Blueburger: [Mimicking Hebrew] Bumfuck, vagina schmuck.
- [Continue mimicking]
- Rabbi: [Chanting in Hebrew]
- Esther Blueburger, Jacob Blueburger: [Mimicking Hebrew] Asshole...
- Rabbi: [Corrects the Hebrew word]
- Esther Blueburger, Jacob Blueburger: [Continue mimicking Hebrew] ... Sodomy.
- Rabbi: [Shocked reaction]