- Dumpster Dude: Well aren't you good at finding things?
- Catfish: Yeah well, timing is everything. That and knowing where to look.
- Amber: [Writing in her journal] Bert surprised me. There were no fireworks, no poetry. Just the single longest orgasm any woman has ever experienced in recorded history.
- Nicki: [Responding to Catfish's mangled poetry reading] You are such a man! Here's a newsflash for you Shakespeare, women aren't stupid!