Quotes

Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Iris: You see, once you commit yourself to something, however bizarre it might seem to other people, you kind of owe it to yourself to enjoy the experience.

Jamie: Multiple orgasms stop when you get married. Something to do with church weddings. The blessing takes care of all that. In the eyes of God, one climax per session is enough.
Molly: Well, if that were the case, I'd go to church.

Noel: So, wait, what are you saying? All these... lines that I... those crap lines... they actually worked?
Anna: No, they were shit.
Noel: Oh.
Anna: In fact, if you'd said nothing, I might have fucked you earlier.

Jamie: Multiple orgasms. Really! We make do with one at a time. Do you see us complaining?
Molly: No.
Jamie: There you go.
Molly: That's because you're asleep.

Brian: I'm not ready.
Billy: You're not ready? You're in your 40s.
Brian: I know straight men in their 40s who aren't ready.
Billy: Yeah, but that's different.
Brian: How is it different?
Billy: Well, it's not down to them.
Brian: It's not down to them?
Billy: No, it's the woman's choice. A straight man can remove any sense of responsibility. We don't have that luxury.

Sara: We were married for the wrong reasons. What was it about us tying the know that just stopped everything?
Pete: I think we just ran out of things to say. And it often happens in a relationship. Some people get to the point where they say things like "I've met someone else" or "I just can't do this any more." And I went for "Will you marry me?" And you went for "Yes."

Pete: You know, I fail to see how some men can find sex with men in any way appealing. I struggle to see how women can.

Pete: Do you, Sarah Louise Williams, hereby agree to never laying any claim to the life and emotions of this man, Peter Brian Maxwell?
Sara: I do. And do you, Peter Brian Maxwell, hereby consent to never ringing up this woman, Sarah Louise Williams, after you've had a few beers and are in desperate need of a bunk-up?
Pete: I... I do, I do, I do. Christ, that hurt.
Sara: Well, maybe we could break the rules once in a while.
Pete: Oh, just the once?

Brian: If there's one good thing about being gay, it's that we are, by definition, environmentally friendly.
Billy: And that's it, is it?
Brian: Well, no, we can also dress well without fear of ridicule.

Brian: I love children as much as everyone else. I have seven godchildren, for fuck's sake.
Billy: You have seven godchildren, because you can't have any of your own and people feel sorry for you.
Brian: Do they bollocks. they think it's cool to have a gay influence. It's North London.

Noel: [to Anna] I'm sorry that I complimented you. It was very insensitive of me.

Anna: You're too young to be a father.
Noel: I am.
Anna: How old?
Noel: Twenty-five.
Anna: No, that's not too young to be a father.
Noel: Maybe it's not too young, but it's definitely young.
Anna: Compared to what? You, you're young compared to what?
Noel: Erm... eh... the telephone. Yeah, I'm definitely young compared to the telephone.

Eddie Wright: I come to this bench to look at that view on Thursdays. So it must be Thursday.

Billy: We are all here because two people needed something more in their life than what they had.

Billy: My parents didn't speak to one another for a year before I was born, and then I came along and everything got better. And they don't regret me coming along, and I certainly don't. I mean, admittedly, they haven't spoken to me in over ten years, but they didn't know they were creating a sexual deviant.
Brian: Your parents are cave dwellers. They are a bad example.
Billy: Yeah, but my point is that I am the result of truly selfish behaviour and I'm fuckin' made up about it.

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