Arleen Sorkin credited as playing...
Harley Quinn • Dr. Harleen Quinzel
- [Harley switches on the machine, sending Catwoman on a conveyor belt toward a meat grinder, then runs for the door. Batman swoops down and grabs her]
- Harley Quinn: Gee, Batman, what are you gonna do? Kick me around or save your kitty? You've only got time for one.
- [Without letting go of her, Batman turns to the wall, opens the electric panel, and throws the master switch. The machine stops]
- Harley Quinn: [weakly] Heh heh... good call. Help!
- Harley Quinn: It's Late Night Gotham Live, and here's the man who puts a smile on your face whether you want it or not, The Joker!
- The Joker: Good evening folks, I'm The Joker: living proof that you don't have to be crazy to host this show, but it helps! Ha ha!
- The Joker: We're back with my extra-special guest. So, how's Robin?
- [Batman remains stoically silent]
- The Joker: Moving right along... you know, kids, we've got an item here no home should be without. The laughter-activated electric chair. Yes, sir, the merest titter or guffaw starts the chair's generator revving up towards maximum zappage. Harley?
- Harley Quinn: [demonstrating] Ha ha ha.
- The Joker: But for a real demonstration, we're pumping our studio audience full of my patented laughing gas. These yahoos will laugh at anything now. Even the phone book.
- Harley Quinn: [to a tied-up Catwoman] I had a kitty once. You know, they don't always land on their feet.