Efrem Zimbalist Jr. credited as playing...
Alfred Pennyworth
- Bruce Wayne: [on the phone] I don't care how much money we'll lose! I won't have Wayne Enterprises involved with an operation that destroys a rainforest! Shut it down, or you're *gone*!
- [he hangs up and switches to his Batman voice]
- Bruce Wayne: One of my greedy directors made a deal with a slash-and-burn outfit in the Amazon.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Well, it's fortunate you learned of the deal in time to stop it.
- Bruce Wayne: I hate when things slip by me.
- [Bruce offers Alfred and Maggie his tickets to a spa getaway]
- Alfred Pennyworth: [stiffly] I'm afraid it's quite out of the question.
- [cut to Alfred riding shotgun in Maggie's car]
- Alfred Pennyworth: [grumbling] I've been Shanghaied.
- Maggie Page: [in the hospital] Alfred, do you realize this is the second weekend in a row we've spent together? This relationship is branching out.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Maggie, please. After our encounter with "Joan of Bark" the last thing I want to be reminded of is plants.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Good to see you, sir.
- Batman: You too, Alfred. What's with the jungle?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, I thought this drab old cave could use a little color. How does it look?
- Batman: Green.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Yes, so lovely.
- [sighing contentedly]
- Alfred Pennyworth: I feel all this decorating has given me a dreadful thirst.
- Batman: What's that?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Special spa water, sir. With a drop or two of Dr. Demeter's formula. Wonderful stuff, this demetrite.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Yes, Master Bruce, I did ask about that lady, as you requested. But it seems she left by herself two weekends ago. But why anyone would want to leave this place is beyond me.
- Bruce Wayne: [hearing him chortle] Alfred, are you okay?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Never better, sir. Everywhere I turn, I see another sign of nature's...
- [seeing Maggie in a mud bath]
- Alfred Pennyworth: ...uh, beauty. I assure you that when I return, I'll be feeling like a new man.
- Maggie Page: [watching the Eternal Youth video] You might want to try this, Bruce, with your late nights and all.
- Bruce Wayne: My weekends are shot, Maggie. But if you and Alfred would like to go in my place...
- Alfred Pennyworth: Uh, thank you, sir, but we couldn't possibly accept. It-It's much too generous.
- Bruce Wayne: I thought they said it was free.
- Maggie Page: They did. Oh, Alfie, don't be an old fogey. A little fresh air would do us both some good, and you have been promising to take me somewhere.