- Creepers: Dinner is served, sir.
- Fred Flintstone: Eh, what is it, Creepers?
- Creepers: Alphabet soup, sir, our cook's specialty.
- Fred Flintstone: Alphabet soup?
- Barney Rubble: Sure, Fred, you twirl it around and sometimes it makes words. Uh do you think we should eat it?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, sure, why not?
- Barney Rubble: Well, if anything happens to Flintstone, everything goes to the servants, remember?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah, I remember. Hey, Barney, look! The alphabet soup's trying to tell us something! Beware!
- Barney Rubble: You better do what it says, Fred, look!
- [Pot Rock charges at Fred with a cleaver]
- [after J. Giggles Flintstone, who turns out to be alive and well, reveals he was merely testing Fred]
- Fred Flintstone: You mean this was all a joke?
- J. Giggles Flintstone: That's right, a great big joke!
- [cackles]
- J. Giggles Flintstone: Right, boys?
- Creepers: You're a riot, sir.
- Wormstone: What a practical joker, boss.
- Potrock: Yeah, a real kook.
- J. Giggles Flintstone: That's me, a kook!
- [cackles]
- J. Giggles Flintstone: But a rich kook. Ha, ha! Don't forget that!
- [cackles]
- J. Giggles Flintstone: You should've seen how funny you looked when you were scared!
- [cackles]
- J. Giggles Flintstone: Right, boys?
- Servants: Yeah, boss.
- [the servants all laugh]
- Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm kind of a kook myself.
- [pulls out a very large cleaver]
- Fred Flintstone: Not rich, but still a kook.
- [Fred laughs maniacally as his uncle runs in terror]
- J. Giggles Flintstone: Look out! He's flipped his wheels! Run!
- [the servants flee with Fred chasing after them and Giggles, Barney and the girls watch as Fred continues chasing them outside]
- Barney Rubble: Good boy! Sic'em, Fred! Sic'em!
- Betty Rubble: Go get'em, Fred!
- [Fred continues his pursuit, laughing maniacally]
- Wilma Flintstone: Well, back to the poorhouse.
- Fred Flintstone: [about his uncle] I don't think I saw him more than twice in my whole life. He, uh, lived alone in a big mansion on Nightmare Hill. He, uh, was kind of a, uh, well, eh, he was a, uh...
- Betty Rubble: You mean he was an eccentric.
- Fred Flintstone: I mean he was a kook, that's what I mean.
- Lawyer: You see, madam, the late Mr. Flintstone was a kind of, um, eh, that is, he, uh, uh...
- Wilma Flintstone: You mean he was an eccentric.
- Lawyer: No, I mean he was a kook, that's what I mean!
- Barney Rubble: [looking at a picture on the wall] Hey, that must be a picture of your uncle, the late J. Giggles Flinstone.
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah that's him alright.
- Barney Rubble: Looks a lot like you!
- [the eyes move in the picture]
- Fred Flintstone: Hey Barney! That picture, I saw the eyes move!
- Barney Rubble: Eyes move? Oh boy, uh Fred, you're a bundle of nerves!
- Fred Flintstone: [hears thunder and laughter and jumps over to Barney's side of the table] Kind of, stormy tonight, isn't it, Barney?
- Betty Rubble: Where's Barney?
- Barney Rubble: [on the cuckoo clock's perch] Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo.
- [disappears back in the clock]
- Betty Rubble: Barney, come out! What're you doing up there?
- Barney Rubble: [comes out] Well, when you're in a cuckoo-type house, this is the safest place to be.
- Betty Rubble: Is Pebbles asleep?
- Wilma Flintstone: Uh-huh, sleeping like a little angel.
- Fred Flintstone: [chuckles] She oughta, the lucky kid. After tomorrow, she's not gonna have a worry in the world.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, I don't know, Fred. She'll still have you.