The One After I Do

Rachel Green: [on the pregnancy test] I can't - I can't look at it. Somebody else tell me, please.

Phoebe Buffay: [looks at the pregnancy test] It's negative.

Rachel Green: What?

Phoebe Buffay: It's negative.

Rachel Green: Oh. Well, there you go. Phew. That's great. That is really, really great news. You know? Because the whole not-being-ready and financial aspects - all that stuff. This is all just the way it's supposed to be.

Monica Geller-Bing: [solemnly] Well, then great.

[Phoebe hands Rachel a tissue, and Rachel starts crying]

Rachel Green: Thanks. God, this is so stupid. How can I be upset over something I never had?... It's negative?

Phoebe Buffay: No, it's positive.

[Monica and Rachel are stunned]

Rachel Green: What?

Phoebe Buffay: It's not negative; it's positive.

Rachel Green: Are you sure?

Phoebe Buffay: Well, yeah - I lied before.

[Rachel looks at the pregnancy test]

Phoebe Buffay: Now you know how you really feel about it.

Rachel Green: Oh, that's a risky little game.

Monica Geller-Bing: Are you really going to do this?

Rachel Green: Yeah. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby!

[the three of them hug]

Phoebe Buffay: With who?

Rachel Green: Aw, it's still not the time.