- [Lex-as-Flash hides in a bathroom in the Watchtower to escape the pursuing League members]
- The Flash: [panting] Lex, you're having a difficult day.
- [looking in the mirror]
- The Flash: Hmm... if nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity.
- [Lex unmasks and looks in the mirror, then frowns]
- The Flash: I have no idea who this is.
- [Flash-as-Lex is about to leave the bathroom]
- Dr. Polaris: Mm-hm!
- Lex Luthor: What?
- Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
- Lex Luthor: No! 'Cause I'm evil.
- Bizzaro: [On Lex's surprising new behavior] Me got answer.
- Lex Luthor: Excellent, do enlighten us.
- Bizzaro: Ever since you plug in monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro's mommy?
- Lex Luthor: Me, The Flash? You've, like, totally lost it, Grodd. I'm Lex Luthor!
- Gorilla Grodd: And I'm Charlton Heston.
- Sinestro: After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?
- [Flash-as-Lex prepares to address the Legion of Doom]
- Lex Luthor: [clears his throat] My fellow bad guys, I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril.
- [pause]
- Lex Luthor: Uh... any questions?
- Angle Man: We all get a cut, right?
- Lex Luthor: Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much. One of these days, you'll go too far.
- [with Flash's brain]
- Lex Luthor: Okay, okay, I'm trapped in a building full of super-villains, I've lost my powers, and for some reason this creepy hot chick thinks I'm Lex Luth...
- [sees himself in the mirror]
- Lex Luthor: Oh, that is just wrong!
- Tala: You need a rest.
- [Tala pulls "Lex Luthor" with her into a room. The door closes]
- Lex Luthor: [pause] That's not restful.
- Mr. Terrific: Can you tell us anything about Grodd's secret society? Where's their Headquarters?
- The Flash: I don't know. In a swamp...
- Gorilla Grodd: Ah, Tala, my old groupie. I so miss bending you to my will.
- Tala: Go eat a banana. Lex is my man now.
- [Leaves with Lex]
- Gorilla Grodd: If you say so.
- [Lex-as-Flash prepares to teleport off the Watchtower. Mr. Terrific hits a button]
- Computer: Artificial gravity off.
- [Flash floats off the teleport pad]
- Mr. Terrific: Speed's no good without gravity.
- The Flash: That's where you're wrong.
- [He windmills his arm, propelling himself down. Mr. Terrific hits the button again]
- Computer: Artificial gravity on.
- The Flash: AH!
- [Flash slams into the pad, knocking himself out]
- Mr. Terrific: Dr. Fate, your patient just anesthetized himself.
- [after spending a day with the Flash-as-Lex, Tala wants to know if their minds have been switched back]
- Tala: Lex, is that really you?
- Lex Luthor: Of course it's me, you twit.
- [elbows her away]
- Tala: [disappointed] Aw...
- Tala: Lex, you don't look at all well
- Lex Luthor: [out of breath] Yeah, I'm just a little wind - Did you say, "Lex"?
- Rampage: ...Psycho.
- Dr. Fate: I have devised a spell to exchange Luthor and Flash's minds again. But to properly execute it, I must have physical contact with at least one of them.
- Mr. Terrific: They've got the fake Flash cornered in the cafeteria. Go get him, Fate.
- Red Tornado: [Lex/Flash vibrates the Javelin bay door open] His vibrations create an unstable resonance.
- John Stewart: Which is why the real Flash doesn't do it.
- The Flash: Attention, the man you think is Luthor is actually a Justice Leaguer disguised as me. Repeat, he is not Luthor.
- Lex Luthor: [seeing the others stare] I, Lex Luthor, find that preposterous.
- Dr. Polaris: Tell you what. Why don't you humor us and tell me something Luthor would know and a spy wouldn't? What's my real name?
- Lex Luthor: [sweating, he pushes a technician out of the way] Priority override, user code 006...
- Sinestro: [Polaris knocks him unconscious] We'd better hurry and finish loading. It won't take the League long to track that transmission.
- Lex Luthor: [Grodd reveals that he knows he's not Lex] Luthor's got you in a cage like a lab rat. He's humiliated you. You hate him. And you could see to it he never comes back. Dude, help me out here.
- Gorilla Grodd: True, I do hate Luthor. But I hate you just as much.
- Lex Luthor: So... you gonna bust me or what?
- Gorilla Grodd: Where's the fun in that? I'm going to watch you twist in the wind until you're discovered and they tear you limb from limb.
- Lex Luthor: You, uh, evil head guy.
- Evil Star: Yeah?
- Lex Luthor: Tell me your part in this plan.
- Evil Star: I don't have a part in this plan.
- Lex Luthor: Exactly. Pop quiz. Everyone tell me their part in the plan.
- Dr. Polaris: Well, here's the way you gave it to us, this morning. The recently reunited country of Kaznia has gone democratic and is joining the European Union.
- Sinestro: As such, they're switching their currency from Kaznian crowns to euros. In a few hours, nearly 100 million newly minted euros are being brought in to the Kaznian treasury.
- Tala: So, while Dr. Poaris and Sinestro take the point, darling, you and I are in a transport nearby.
- Dr. Polaris: It's a simple smash-and-grab. It's also gonna be the largest single robbery in history.
- Lex Luthor: Whoa. I mean, Lex Luthor is pleased. Carry on.
- Dr. Light: Metro-Tower. What can we do for you, Mr. Terrific?
- Mr. Terrific: Send a team to the following coordinates.
- Lex Luthor: Brainiac, you're in there. I can almost feel you. Abasing myself before Grodd, then running this unwieldy super-gang. It's all been worth it if I can just free the only piece of you that remains.
- Tala: Lex, don't talk to the rock.
- Lex Luthor: Stay out of this, witch.
- Mr. Terrific: Attention, all decks. This is a station-wide alert. Lex Luthor has control of Flash's body. Contain him at any cost. Use whatever force is necessary.
- John Stewart: I don't want him hurt.
- Mr. Terrific: That's not the problem.
- John Stewart: Look, we know Grodd's running some kind of organized group. I'm tired of just putting out fires.
- Mr. Terrific: We need to find his new secret society and take the fight to them.
- The Flash: Guys, I'm not arguing that. There's just gotta be another way.
- Mr. Terrific: This is it. When Grodd took control of your mind a couple of years ago, even though that connection was broken, he left a psychic resonance.
- Dr. Fate: I can mystically access that resonance and trace it to Grodd, wherever he hides.
- Red Tornado: And when we do find Grodd, we'll likely find Luthor, Bizarro, and any number of wanted criminals.
- The Flash: No doubt, but I don't like strangers nosing around in my brain. No offense, Doc.
- Dr. Fate: I assure you, I won't be reading your thoughts. Your mind is simply a portal.
- The Flash: This really seems like it's more up J'onn's alley.
- John Stewart: J'onn's not here.
- The Flash: What do you say we go check with Batman? He's got clues.
- Mr. Terrific: You saw Batman's report. Grodd covered all of his tracks.
- John Stewart: We need to find him before he hurts anyone else, Flash. This may be our only shot.
- Gorilla Grodd: What do you want, Luthor?
- Lex Luthor: How do I unlock the Brainiac code?
- Gorilla Grodd: You're a genius; figure it out.
- Lex Luthor: Tell me, you leering, manipulative, knuckle-dragger, or I'll...
- Gorilla Grodd: Lex, Lex. You can't expect me to give up my only bargaining chip. What's in it for me?
- Lex Luthor: [frustrated] When this is over, I'm going to sell your body for dog meat.
- The Flash: Beam me out of here or I'm going to vibrate these fingers and scramble your brains.
- Mr. Terrific: Do as he says, Tony.
- John Stewart: We can't let Luthor get away with Flash's body. He'll be unstoppable.
- Lex Luthor: You're making a big mistake.
- Dr. Polaris: [slugging him] Gotta be the Martian.
- Sinestro: I say we torture him until he reverts to his true form.
- Lex Luthor: It's me, Luthor. Dr. Fate switched my mind, but I'm back now.
- Tala: It may be true.
- Dr. Polaris: That doesn't matter. I'm running things from now on.
- Lex Luthor: [chuckling] Oh, don't kid yourself, Polaris.
- Dr. Polaris: Whether you're just a lookalike or the real thing, I'd hate to be you about now.
- [using his powers, he pulls metal out of the ceiling and aims the shards at Lex; as Lex taps a button on his belt, the shards turn around and wrap around Polaris]
- Lex Luthor: That's how you know I'm Luthor. When I augmented your powers, I also made sure I can override your abilities. Would anyone else care to try me?
- Lex Luthor: You see how much I've learned from your mind-control technology. Of course, I don't have your natural talent for the work, so my process is relatively crude. Last chance. Tell me what I want to know, or I'll tear the information from your bleeding frontal lobe.
- Gorilla Grodd: You're a technological cretin. A sadistic child playing with power tools.
- The Flash: Guys! I was starting to think I was gonna go out as the bottom of a super villain dog pile.
- John Stewart: It sounds like Wally, but is there any way to be *sure*?
- The Flash: You want proof? Until he went off to the Marines, GL's nickname was...
- John Stewart: STOP! It's him! You promised never to repeat that story.
- The Flash: I know. I was just messing with your head.
- Gorilla Grodd: It must pain you to see me like this, after what we've been to one another.
- Tala: My taste in boyfriends has evolved.
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