Miguel A. Núñez Jr. credited as playing...
Darnell
- Darnell Jackson: Man, I miss you dog. I miss you. You my nigga.
- Justin Schumacher: [Looking horrified] Darnell, that's a bad word.
- Darnell Jackson: Bitch, you been sleeping too long. After N.W.A. came out everybody's been saying it.
- Justin Schumacher: What was N.W.A.?
- Darnell Jackson: Niggaz with Atti...
- Justin Schumacher: [Looking more horrified]
- Darnell Jackson: Look, don't worry about it. It's my buddy, my friend.
- Justin Schumacher: I'm sorry Darnell, I was in a coma.
- Darnell Jackson: Yeah, you were.
- Justin Schumacher: You're a good nigger. You're the best nigger I ever had.
- Aki: [Darnell's invention of the Jewbix cube, a Jewish version of the Rubik's cube. Aki is reading off the pictures on the cube] A Jewish star, a money sign, a menorah, and a d... Dude you put a dick on the Jewbix cube?
- [Hector and Aki laugh]
- Darnell Jackson: [mad at Aki and Hector for laughing] It's a circumcised penis. The only other real Jewish thing I could think of.
- Darnell Jackson: Aki, what the hell are you doing? Come on, man. The robot's suppose to be your thing. You look like C-3PO with R2-D2 stuck up his ass.
- Darnell Jackson: Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?
- Yun: Zero percent.
- Darnell Jackson: One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?
- Yun: Two percent.
- Aki: Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.
- Justin Schumacher: Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?
- Aki: Homeboy's forever.
- Darnell Jackson: Homeboy's forever.
- Hector: Homeboy's forever.
- Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector: Funky Fresh Boyz!
- Yun: If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.
- Darnell Jackson: They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.
- Justin Schumacher: America what?
- Darnell Jackson: Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.
- Darnell Jackson: I can't dance like that no more. I'm a grown-ass man!
- Darnell Jackson: For a hundred grand? You better bust a move, drop it like its hot. Now, I don't want to see your black ass again until you got a whole lot of money or a whole lot of diapers.
- [slams door]
- Darnell Jackson: Oh, hell no. You don't close my door like that!
- Roxanne Jackson: [opens door] What you say, nigga?
- Darnell Jackson: Uh, nothin'. I'm your nigga.
- Roxanne Jackson: Now get to steppin'.
- [slaps him hard across the face]
- Roxanne Jackson: Bitch-slapped.
- Darnell Jackson: [to Jen] You and your boyfriend can take that good bitch, bad bitch routine and and stick it right up your snutzy.
- Crazy Homeless Man: Snutzy?
- Jennifer: Okay. Terrified to ask what my snutzy is.
- Crazy Homeless Man: I'll tell ya.