Ben Kingsley credited as playing...
Frank Falenczyk
- Laurel Pearson: What are you thinking about, sitting there all serious?
- Frank Falenczyk: My shortcomings.
- Laurel Pearson: Women don't even pay attention to that.
- Frank Falenczyk: [Dressing the body of Laurel's uncle] I was thinking he kind of looked like a prick, if you don't mind me saying.
- Laurel Pearson: No, no, not at all.
- Frank Falenczyk: [Comparing dress show and bowling shoe] Also, he seems to have enormous feet.
- Laurel Pearson: Yeah, well, those aren't his shoes. I couldn't find his. Stole those from the Chestnut Lanes. Don't tell my Mom.
- Frank Falenczyk: Might have to break his toes.
- Laurel Pearson: [With a slight smile] Whatever gets the job done.
- Laurel Pearson: Here's to granting others the serenity to change the things you cannot accept.
- Tom: And the courage to accept large amounts of change serenely.
- Frank Falenczyk: And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Frank Falenczyk: Does that mean you're my sponsor?
- Tom: Does that mean you're asking?
- Frank Falenczyk: Is this the part where we kiss?
- Frank Falenczyk: Are you pregnant?
- Laurel Pearson: No! Unless you put something in my egg-roll. And then put the egg-roll in my...
- Tom: [regarding Frank's admission of his career as a hitman to the Alcoholics Anonymous group] Actually, it went better than you think. It did
- Laurel Pearson: How do you know they won't tell the police?
- Frank Falenczyk: It's Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Tom: Somehow I don't really feel that's what they had in mind when they came up with the name, but you never know.
- Walter Fitzgerald: You'd refuse a dying man his last request?
- Frank Falenczyk: Sorry, you dying?
- Walter Fitzgerald: [laughs] For fuck's sake, I'm talking about Patrick. That's what this party's all about, sending him on his way.
- Frank Falenczyk: Thank you, really, I can't. I'm working, I... gotta keep an eye on things.
- Walter Fitzgerald: [sarcastically] He's not going anywhere.
- Tom: [Frank is trying to eat a cookie] No, no, you're not suppose to eat those, they're just for show, 'kay?
- Frank Falenczyk: Oh.
- [throws away cookie]
- Tom: I'm kidding. I'm Tom.
- [they shake hands]
- Frank Falenczyk: Frank.
- Tom: Hi. This your first time?
- Frank Falenczyk: I've had cookies before.
- Frank Falenczyk: You gonna run and tell mommy?
- Dave: That's right, Frank. I'm going to run and tell mommy.
- Frank Falenczyk: Shit.