- Ellen Dolan: You're in love with every women you meet, Mr. Spirit. You say lovely things to all of us and you mean every word you say.
- The Spirit: [Wakes up after being unconscious] What smells dental?
- The Spirit: [Looks around at Nazi decorations, and realizes he's tied to a Dentist chair] Dental and Nazi. Great.
- Silken Floss: We knew there had to be a better way of keeping someone alive other than cutting them up like some free-range chicken.
- The Octopus: Eurgh. Free-range chickens with their big brown ugly-ass eggs. They piss me off. Every time I think about those big brown eggs they piss. Me. Off.
- Silken Floss: Or pills.
- [from trailer]
- The Spirit: My city, I can not deny her. My city screams. She is my mother. She is my lover, and I am her Spirit.
- The Spirit: I've known some pretty strange women in my time but this one, she's got the final word on strange.
- Commissioner Dolan: Is every goddamn woman in this goddamn hell hole out of her goddamn mind?
- Morgenstern: No, sir. We're just equipped.
- [On the Subject of Demi-Gods]
- Silken Floss: Now the greatest of them all was Heracles.
- The Octopus: And we found his ass! Well his blood anyway... he left some blood.
- The Spirit: This is for Sand!
- [hits The Octopus]
- The Spirit: This is for me!
- [hits The Octopus]
- The Spirit: And this is for Muffins!
- [roundhouse kicks The Octopus into a pillar with a Nazi Eagle on top]
- The Octopus: Is that it?
- [Giant marble eagle falls on The Octopus]
- The Spirit: There probably isn't a law in the books that you wouldn't break.
- Sand Saref: Tell me, do I look like a good girl?
- The Spirit: [the Octopus has demonstrated a serum on a cat, muffins] The cat... she is all the reason I need. I will kill you.