- China Rose: Do you want us to slip in something more comfortable?
- [China Rose, Milk Maiden, and Scarlet proceed to to disrobe their clothing, man proceeds to take turns groping each one's breasts, China Rose, Milk Maiden, and Scarlet then take turns performing fellatio on man]
- Falcon: All my life I've kept my heart in the closet... Lately, though... my ass keeps sticking out.
- Granny Boone: Well, Bucky... If the North won't come to the South...
- Mayor Buckman: ...we'll bring the South to them!
- Jesus: So what's a hottie like you doing with a limp dick like Jerry?
- Bristol Bush: [laughs] Ever hear the one about the dumb blond that slept with the writer to get ahead in Hollywood? Guess that's me.
- Jesus: [seductive tone] Oh... baby, you're no dumb blond. You're just misinformed. See, it's not the writers or directors that get you ahead. It's the teamsters. You stick with me, I'll hook you up.
- Bristol Bush: [scoffs] Yeah, like I never heard that before.
- Jesus: Bitch, I ain't playing you.
- Bristol Bush: Oh, yeah? So, who are you gonna hook me up with?
- Jesus: For one, a bunch of buddies of mine got this indie horror thing going on. See, horror has its hell these days, you know?
- Bristol Bush: I would love to get killed in a horror flick!
- Jesus: I bet you would, and I bet you'd look good too... all naked and covered in blood and shit.
- Jerry Schmit: Hey, we can always camp out here. You know, get the girls in thongs, roasting marshmellows...
- Bristol Bush: Whatever.
- Jerry Schmit: It would make for some great footage.
- Tina Sheraton: I don't think so. This place looks way too creepy.
- Rome Sheraton: Yeah, it's makes Biscuit's hair stand up.
- K-Jay: That would be the Formaldehyde, babe.
- Falcon: Dude, respect.
- Bristol Bush: For once, I agree with the debutantes. Let's just get out of here.
- Mayor Buckman: Now let's see here, from here to the road it's a couple of miles, same distance we had to flee from Pleasant Valley. Now, there's no sport in shooting fish in a barrel. so we hid some guns and ammo along the way. Now, If ya'll can go out there and find them and put up a good fight, why, you're free to go.
- Val Turner: Oh, that is bloody bullocks! If you don't let us go now, I'll have my lawyer slaughter you up faster than you can say "IR Spectrum". I mean it, motherfucker!
- [Val spits at Mayor Buckman]