- Clark: Mike, I'm gonna stop you, because you have a new lady. Okay? And her name is Hollywood. And her legs are spread so wide that there's room for both of us in there.
- Clark: They brought up Ashton, not me.
- Michael: Yeah? Well what if I brought up that guy, uh, that guy from American Pie? What's that guy... the curly haired guy.
- Clark: I don't know his name.
- Clark: [to camera]
- Clark: Can we even say names like this? I mean, I don't need another lawsuit right now.
- Michael: Oh please, Clark- JASON BIGGS. Sue me, you cocksucker. Earn your first dollar in seven years.
- Michael: Oh, there's my neighbor Amanda! How are the petunias coming in this year, Amanda?... That's Clark!