Zachary Levi: Chuck Bartowski

Chuck

Chuck Bartowski

Chuck Bartowski: [seeing General Beckman on the TV] Wow, that new high-def screen sure shows every wrinkle.
John Casey: They can hear you.
Chuck Bartowski: What? Twinkle! Every twinkle... in her eye... eyes...

Chuck Bartowski: [Sarah kisses Chuck] Is that a - real kiss, or a cover kiss? Cause I'm confused right now.
Sarah Walker: It's a "we have an international security emergency and I need to speak to you privately" kiss.
Chuck Bartowski: See? I knew I felt something.

Sarah Walker: Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.
Chuck Bartowski: ...No thanks. I don't need to know more about who you were. 'Cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are: a girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with. Should I get a knife? I'll get a knife.
Sarah Walker: That won't be necessary.
[Sarah rolls up one of her pant legs, pulls out a knife and gives it to Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: That's... awesome! And a little disturbing.

Jeff Barnes: Does it shock you that 80 percent of my encounters with women have been without their knowledge?
Chuck Bartowski: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20 percent.

Chuck Bartowski: Well, it may not be the steamiest, but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles.
Sarah Walker: Doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right?
Chuck Bartowski: Good point.

Chuck Bartowski: You belong out there. Save the world. I'm just - I'm just not that guy.
Sarah Walker: How many times do you have to be a hero to realize that you *are* that guy?

Sarah Walker: What about me?
Chuck Bartowski: [chuckles] You're really going to make me say it.
[Sarah smiles]
Chuck Bartowski: Wow, okay. Fine. All right we'll play it your way... A girl like you, or more appropriately, a *woman* like you. Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint. And a smart one too. Not to mention, cool... and extremely beautiful. And - and - you can stop me any time with the compliments if they're becoming... you know...
Sarah Walker: No, that's very... sweet.
Chuck Bartowski: "Sweet?" Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm 8.
Sarah Walker: [slight chuckle] You're not so bad yourself.
Chuck Bartowski: [sarcastically] Please. I'm fantastic.
Sarah Walker: [seriously] Yeah. You are.

Chuck Bartowski: Look, what if I surrender and you run. I mean I'm going into a cell anyway. What's the difference?
Sarah Walker: Torture.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, no surrender.

Chuck Bartowski: I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.
Sarah Walker: Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.

Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me. I'm sorry, General. But who in my life *isn't* a spy? My sister? My best friend? Should I just start asking people when I first meet them, "Hi I'd like the extra value meal, and while we're on the topic, do you covertly work for a government faction?"

Chuck Bartowski: The guy is a total loser, all right. Absolute bottom feeding scum of the Earth. Have I mentioned considerably *older* man!
Jack Burton: [from behind] All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, I'd like you to meet my *dad*, Jack Burton. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: [clears throat] A real pleasure, sir.

Chuck Bartowski: You want to go on a date with me some time? I mean a date without aliases, and spy gear, and no mission.
Sarah Walker: Like a *real* date?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah.
Sarah Walker: Chuck,
[clears throat checks to make sure no one is listening]
Sarah Walker: I'm still a CIA agent. And there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.
Chuck Bartowski: What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one night of fun with me.
Sarah Walker: ...Okay.

Chuck Bartowski: [mimicking Casey's voice] Well thanks for saving my life today, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Any time, Casey. Yeah, you know what you're my friend.
Chuck Bartowski: [mimicking Casey's voice] Yeah you're my friend too.
Chuck Bartowski: That's really kind of you, Casey. Have a good night.
John Casey: [seriously] Thank you.
[closes door]

Chuck Bartowski: But it's - it's Christmas. Look, I'm not buying the whole Scrooge act. Underneath that spy cover is a regular person, just like the rest of us. I mean, honestly, how weird could Christmas have been for you?
Sarah Walker: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con job.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, you're a little different than the rest of us.

Chuck Bartowski: Look something's wrong with me. I don't know what, but something is very, very wrong with me. I'm remembering things I shouldn't know.
Sarah Walker: Talk to me, Chuck, like what?
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know, I don't know... Like there was a Serbian demolitions expert at the Large Mart today. don't you think that's a little odd?