Metacritic reviews

Provides more groans than laughs.

With stronger actors and real writers, this might’ve been a vintage comedy you could sink your...nope, not going there.

Fangs aside, it sticks with the same basic menu of T&A and lowbrow humor.

The lame gags, ineptly staged, don't produce anything in the way of genuine laughs, though there is the occasional funny line.

Transylmania, a vampire-hunter, college road trip sex comedy, has a problem: someone has drained all the laughs out of it.

Lowbrow vampire spoof.

Although the inept filmmaking and tiresome gags give the air of coming from one truly bored misogynist, it took two screenwriters (Patrick Casey, Worm Miller) and two directors (David & Scott Hillenbrand) to create this stake through the heart of film comedy.

It's tempting to say ''avoid at all costs,'' but truthfully, everyone should see something this bad at least once, if only to help us better appreciate the comparatively brainy merits of works like "Eurotrip," "Freddy Got Fingered," and the modern-day plague of movies with titles ending in "Movie."

Transylmania is so inept that it even fails as an adolescent breast-delivery device.

The current vogue for all things vampiric is ripe for a satirical drubbing, but this repulsive comedy is part of the problem, not the solution.