Quotes

Half-Wit

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's the middle of the night. You knew I'd be asleep.
Dr. Gregory House: Phone would've woken you up just as much... but I can't see what you're wearing on the phone.

Dr. Eric Foreman: He paged us at five in the morning for that? I'm going back to bed, distonia's not life threatening, who needs a panel to take care of it...
Dr. Allison Cameron: He's already on conilizopan - for seizures he has from a bus accident when he was ten.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Then we treat with Benstrupine.
Dr. Robert Chase: [enters] What's up?
Dr. Allison Cameron: 35 year old savant, distonia.
Dr. Robert Chase: Pfft. I'm going back to bed.
Dr. Gregory House: [appears] Where're you going?
Dr. Robert Chase: Bathroom. It can wait.
Dr. Eric Foreman: There is no case, House. Even if distonia was some big medical mystery, it's not this time.
Dr. Gregory House: [shocked] You're not intrigued as to how a perfectly healthy ten year old boy with no prior musical training gets into an accident on his way to school and can suddenly play the piano?
[Chase reaches across for the bag of breakfast, House takes it with his cane]
Dr. Robert Chase: We have to solve a 25 year old case before breakfast?
Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Chase and Cameron and their wet hair] You two shower together?
Dr. Allison Cameron, Dr. Robert Chase: NO!
Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Foreman] Double negative. It's a yes.
[Foreman stares at Chase and Cameron]

Dr. Gregory House: [scanning a brain damaged musical savant] Patrick, I want you to pretend your leg is a piano.
Patrick Obyedkov: My leg's not a piano.
Dr. Gregory House: I know. That's why I said pretend.
[to Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House: Kid's a moron!

Dr. Gregory House: [finds the needle the Cameron was going to use to draw his blood] A little whorish to kiss and stab.
Dr. Allison Cameron: You kissed back.
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't want you to die without knowing the feeling. Actually no woman should die without knowing the feeling.

Dr. Gregory House: You know what my team is doing right now?
Patrick Obyedkov: No.
Dr. Gregory House: They're trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
Patrick Obyedkov: What's wrong with you?
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for asking. They found out that I'm dying.
Patrick Obyedkov: That's sad.
Dr. Gregory House: Everyone's dying.
Patrick Obyedkov: That's sad.
Dr. Gregory House: If a meteor lands on my head tomorrow, it's all academic. I told them to leave me alone, but did they?
Patrick Obyedkov: Did they?
Dr. Gregory House: That one was rhetorical.

Dr. Gregory House: Your turn?
Dr. Robert Chase: Do you have to do that?
Dr. Gregory House: You mean, cheapen everyone's attempt at a human moment by identifying the real calculations that go into it?
Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Robert Chase: I'm sorry you're dying. I'm gonna hug you. Anything to say?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, if you're considering grabbing my ass, don't start anything you can't finish.

Dr. Gregory House: Did you come for my feelings? Because I left 'em in my other pants.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I need to say something.
Dr. Gregory House: Something personal?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah.
Dr. Gregory House: I can't leave because you've got something interesting in that file.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Sorry. You're an arrogant ass who makes it impossible for anyone to like him, by a bunch of people who don't deserve...
Dr. Gregory House: Can we get to the "but" part of this speech?
Dr. Eric Foreman: But I like you.
Dr. Gregory House: No you don't. You're just reacting to the perception of my death. Need to put things in order, feel guilt.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Would you just shut up?
Dr. Gregory House: See? I annoy you.

[to Cameron]
Dr. Gregory House: Foreman and Chase's lips are not gonna get so close, now that I know your plan.

Dr. Allison Cameron: [searching House's place] I'll take in here. Bedroom's down the hall.
Dr. Robert Chase: You've been here?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Where else would the bedroom be?
Dr. Robert Chase: Come with?
Dr. Allison Cameron: You're scared of him catching us breaking into his home, but you're not scared of him catching us doing it in his bed?
Dr. Robert Chase: [to himself] If I'm gonna get fired anyway...

Dr. Eric Foreman: He was testing blood in the clinic. Don't think it was a patient's blood.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? It was green?

Dr. James Wilson: I could set up a tower on the roof during a lightning storm, help you switch brains with your patient. Then you would be the brilliant pianist, and he would be the doctor hiding brain cancer from his friend.
Dr. Gregory House: It's nothing.
Dr. James Wilson: You need to talk about it.
Dr. Gregory House: You need to talk about it.
Dr. James Wilson: At least let me look at your medical file.
Dr. Gregory House: You're making a big deal out of nothing. Who else knows?
Dr. James Wilson: No one, and cancer isn't nothing.
Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, didn't mean to offend your specialty.

Dr. Robert Chase: You can't just randomly stab the temporal lobe and hope you hit the right spot.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm only gonna take little tiny pieces.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Until what?
Dr. Gregory House: Until I find the problem.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Or you kill him.
Dr. Gregory House: No, I'll keep going even if I kill him.

Dr. Allison Cameron: You're just looking for a puzzle to distract you from your own situation.
Dr. Gregory House: You're right. He's dead. Let's go home.

Dr. Gregory House: What the hell were you before you hit your head?
Patrick Obyedkov: Hell is a bad word.
Dr. Gregory House: So is ass, bitch, I could probably rattle off 50 much more complicated and disgusting ones, but then your dad would get pissed at me.

Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron, who's leaving room] If you need a sperm sample, come back without the needle.

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Top Gap

What is the Spanish language plot outline for Half-Wit (2007)?