- Matt: A guy in a bar told me once; if you wonder what God thinks about money, look at who he gives it to.
- Matt: I love Sam like a brother, but he drives me crazy. Not a word goes into his head that doesn't come out of his mouth.
- Sam: I'm going to share something I learned a long time ago... women can't stay mad. They are amazingly resilient creatures. You can forget anniversaries, get drunk and show your ass in front of you in-laws. They'll forgive all those things. But don't, do not get caught cheating Bro. They don't like it.
- Sam: Yeah, the ol' silent treatment. I used to get those with Rhonda, actually instigate them. You think I talk a lot. Jesus.