A Deadly Legend

Are we sure that this abomination isn't one of those terrible Saturday afternoon "original" stinkers that the SyFy channel used to produce and foist on us?

Sure seems like it.

I had high expectations for this film. It ended up not even reaching "so bad it's good," potential, but just plain bad. The storyline was so confusing, I literally thought maybe I wasn't paying attention. Man, it even felt like the creators couldn't decide what they were making.

The writing was absolute trash, as was the acting. This is not a case of "it's so bad it's good". If the prior two sentences aren't enough of a warning then you have my pity.

Oh, good god. Don't believe all the fake reviews. (You'll note that none of those ten-star posters have ever posted an IMBD review before, always a telltale sign.) This is laughably bad, with a lamely on-the-nose approach that's about as scary as an old Lifetime movie. Adding to the televisual feel is the frequent use of blackouts between scenes, as if we're breaking for a commercial.

How they got the name actors involved, I'll never know. (Although Lori Petty is so dreadful, you may be amazed she ever had a high-profile career.) The quality of the non-name performances is easier to explain--one of the hammiest is by the screenwriter, who gave himself a big role.

It's all so stupid at times I wondered if it was actually some sort of deliberate camp exercise. But if that was the intention, the filmmakers left it waaaaaay too easy to mistake their pileup of absurdities and ineptitude for the real thing, as opposed to any kind of sendup.

Adding insult to injury, this atmosphere-free tale of demonic possession or something in a blandly over-lit suburban community is nearly 100 minutes long. This is one of those movies so hapless and yet mediocre that it could only be rendered truly watchable by an accompanying drinking game (a shot for every cheesy "apparition" appearance? a beer every time Petty mooches for beer?), or by MST3K commentary. In excerpt it might cough up some unintentional laughs, but actually watching more than a few minutes of the whole thing gets dull really fast. You've been warned.

Maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention, but the plot of this film came across as nonsensical cult-worship garbage. The make-up effects were horrible enough for me to comment, and Lori Petty's career belongs consigned to the dust bin of history. (Maybe it already is and that's why she's in this film.) Likewise Judd Hirsch and Corbin Bernsen ham it up past the point of believability.

I've seen many, many worse movies, which is why this one doesn't get a 1 star review, but that's literally the only reason. I can't think of anything even remotely redeemable or interesting about this film. The movie's ridiculous ending is merely the icing on the cake.