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Quotes

Cup of Joe

Edit
  • Joe: She's just upset because I gave a girl a ride home last night, and, y'know, "I wasn't supposed to...
  • Jerry: Yeah, I know what you mean. I gave Ethel a ride home last night. It was like swimming in frozen yogurt.
  • Joe: [frustrated] A ride in my car.
  • Jerry: Oh... yeah.
  • Jerry: See, women are crazy. Why do you think I only date older women? They don't want much, they just want you to tell them they're pretty, and that their removeable teeth don't bother you. Don't bother me.
  • Joe: [pause] There's something wrong with you, you know that?
  • Jerry: What?
  • Briana: Just when I think my day couldn't get any worse, people like you prove me wrong, so congratulations!
  • Clerk 1: Thank you!
  • Joe: So, where is this place you're going to take me?
  • Jerry: Well my friend, I know a place so great, where the women are sweet as honey. They'll love you so much it ain't even funny. You can spend little to no money! This place is so outer space... I'm gonna take you to a ...
  • Joe: [cuts to Joe and Jerry entering building] - bingo club?
  • Coffee Person 1: Everyone, I'd like to welcome Tyrone to our poetry club. Today, Tyrone will be sharing with us an example of his... 'urban poetry'... I think we're all in for a treat.
  • Tyrone: I call this one: "Different Shades of White". White. Off White. Egg White. Jack Frost White. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves White. Miracle Whip. Marshmellows. Sugar. Powdered Sugar. And last, but not least: Deodorant. The White kind.
  • Coffee Person 1: Well put!

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