. . . that famous Redcoat bumbler, Gen. John Burgoyne. Jack Burger, as his troops derisively referred to him behind his back, was more interested in writing long-since forgotten plays than in waging war. Infamous for selling multiple military commissions to elope with an Upper Class Dame, Jack surrendered most of the Redcoat army in 1777, fleeing back to England with the rest of his amber-bellied officers. Thousands of enlisted men were abandoned to starve to death in POW camps. Historians concur that this was the turning point of the Revolutionary War. Only the immediate lopping of Jack's virtually empty noggin on the docks of Liverpool could have boosted military morale back to the level necessary for a possible victory, but Mad King George the Third was too far gone to give Jack the Walt Raleigh treatment. This allowed a pack of lazy racial miscreants to scribble down the suicide pact that's ruining America more than ever in 2024, while England remains a Democracy.
