- Travis Perkins: Good grief, you're... you're just like my wife... Yeah, she sits on the goddamn couch. She'll eat a gallon of ice cream... and then she cries to me about getting fat. You see, I tell her it's a simple mathematical equation. Less calories consumed, more calories burned... that equals weight loss... But does she want a solution? No no no... Not to that problem... She'd rather me just sit there... and listen to her bitch and moan.