The Machine

I was recommended to sit down and watch the 2023 action comedy "The Machine", and thus I opted to do so. I was not familiar with the movie prior to being recommended watching it, so I didn't really know what I was in for here. But I was told that Mark Hamill was on the cast list, which definitely got my attention.

Writers Bert Kreischer, Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes put together a script and storyline that made for an adequate enough viewing experience. However, I must admit that I was a bit surprised that three writers collectively could not manage to conjure up a more outstanding script for a movie.

Now, don't get me wrong here, because "The Machine" certainly was a watchable enough movie, and had some adequately funny enough situations and moments as well. And while it isn't a bad movie, it just didn't strike me as being a particularly memorable or outstanding movie actually. It was sort of generic and somewhat mundane in ways. It is hardly a movie that I will return to watch a second time.

The acting performances in "The Machine" were good. I am not familiar with Bert Kreischer at all, but he was adequate in the leading role. It was, of course, a blast to see Mark Hamill on the screen and having a role as he did. It was, however, Iva Babic who stole the light here, because her performance was the best in the entire movie.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "The Machine". And I will say that the movie is certainly entertaining enough for a single viewing. But that is also the problem with the movie, because it doesn't have the contents to support more than a single viewing.

My rating of director Peter Atencio's 2023 movie "The Machine" lands on a mediocre five out of ten stars.

I'm able to switch my brain off and kinda just waltz thru movies that are at that level so it was a solid 5 stars. It's overproduced for what it is and that's probably why I give it a 5, but it's "The Machine" story being milked for what it is, a good story that, as time goes on, start to feel more like an overinflated teenager's story that loses any sense of credibility at all, that is not a great story after all. It's unfortunately the thing that pushed me to realize that I'm getting a bit tired of Bert's inflated ego and that maybe outside of the machine and his forced high pitch laugh, he doesn't have much else to offer.

I think 6/10 is very fair here. It's not a great movie, and that's ok. If you like Brent Chrysler, you'll be entertained by this movie. I can see why he was so happy with how the movie turned out, it's just all him being something he's not for two hours (which again, is fine!). I can tell this was really just something that everyone involved with had a lot of fun with, from the actors to the editors with those kitschy transitions and strange Russian subtitles. It's quirky, and I think it works here.

Mark Hamill was a crazy get for this movie and I can't believe he agreed to do it. It definitely helped the movie's case. Jimmy Tatro was a good casting for young Bert as well.

One observation to make- Bert's character in this is literally Po from Kung Fu Panda. It's just a fat guy who dumb lucks his way through everything until the very end when his actions seem a bit more intentional and he accepts who he really is inside.

Only went because my SO likes him. Saw him on tour without knowing a thing about him and knowing now that the Russian story was a big part of his act, the crowd at the show went wild when it came up. Now it's turned into a feature film.

Went at 1pm on Friday and we were the only two people in the theater. Maybe because it's rated R and my area isn't known for doing well with rated R movies or maybe because it's a 1pm show, but two people for a show doesn't bode well for its popularity.

Moving on to the movie... it was too long... way too long. Frankly I looked at my watch and it was only about 80 minutes in and it was already dragging. My SO laughed a lot and I had a chuckle here and there. If I were watching it alone I would have probably walked out and given it one star but because my SO was happy, it earned extra stars. I wouldn't recommend it and frankly seeing some of the reviews of people that love Bert say it wasn't good is somewhat sad.

This is like watching any of the 5-minute SNL skits turned into a movie. Remember Pat? Remember Superstar? Remember Roxbury? MacGruber? All were items that worked in small amounts but failed miserably as movies. This is no exception.

It wants to be a comedy-action movie but fails at....being a comedy or having action scenes worth watching. At no time did I have a single 'laugh' and chuckled one time in the fist five minutes and that was it. Nothing was funny, nothing. While there is a nice number of action scenes, there were no tension to take them seriously and they all seem inserted with no practical reason for them being there.

Overall, this movie is boring with Bert, 'hamming it up to the camera' every moment he could get.

Not a bad movie, just nothing good. I'm sure by lunchtime I will have forgotten I had even watched it(it is now 11:55).