Lewis Black credited as playing...
Narrator
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Henry Meyerwitz had never wanted any children. But when he had his first, he remembered an old proverb. Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime. So he had more. And once a year, his sins, all grown up, gathered to celebrate his birthday. He didn't want to be there. They didn't want to be there. This year however, a book came out that made it even worse.
- Narrator: To his children, Henry Meyerwitz was more a face on a billboard than a father. He was like the Marlboro Man. But shorter. And Jewish.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Even though it never was his intention. Henry Meyerwitz finally brought his family together. It nearly killed him.