Troll

I was actually surprised at the level of dislike this movie received when I came to review it online. Okay, it's no masterpiece, but it's great fun with really good special effects and totally enjoyable to watch.

Set in Norway, a team of miners accidentally unleash a giant troll which goes on the rampage through the country. I see a lot of people saying how this is effectively 'Godzilla, but with a troll.' And it is. But is that so bad?

The fact that it's set in Norway with actors who are definitely 'non-Hollywood,' mixed with scenery and settings which are - again - not in America, go a long way to make this movie stand out among other similar entries in the genre.

Again, I reiterate that it's no masterpiece and that it's without flaws. Some of the characters I found a little annoying (even though I was watching the 'English dub' of the film), such as the geeky military girl who just so happens to be able to hack a fighter jet while on mission (and then gets no punishment when caught doing so) and the obligatory high-ranking idiot who gets what's coming to him - but I mainly didn't like him due to how much he seems to look like a Norwegian version of James Corden.

However, those annoying characters aside, the effects really do work. Obviously, a lot of what the film-makers needed to create were done with computers and I've seen plenty of recent blockbusters with much bigger budgets look much worse than this (what's that third 'Ant-man' film again?). I thought the troll itself was really well done and the CGI used was integrated well.

Overall, don't go expecting a classic, but there's certainly enough fun here for you to enjoy if you need your 'monster munching' fix and can find this on a streaming service.

So in movies like this, I don't expect the Godfather.... but I do expect something. I can accept the premise that trolls have been sleeping underground etc etc. But it is so dumb. You literally have people staring at the troll, you have a person say hey that looks like a troll, then 8 people in the movie go you're crazy, that's not a troll. So what is it? Let's discuss what the troll in front of us is? Does anyone know what kinda troll that troll thing might be. But don't call it a troll. It's like how in every zombie movies the people in the movie live in an alternate reality where they've never heard of zombies before.

Oh we're facing a 100 foot tall giant made of rock... let's attack the obviously armored creature with 5.56 Nato rounds.... that'll do the trick. Oh he destroyed all of us.... oh... I have ammo left and the creature has calmed down... let me shoot at it again! Ooops I'm dead.

There's a being hidden deep within the rocks, imprisoned in a craggy granite box, but progress has awakened, now the land is quaked and shaken, leaving everyone who sees a bit flummoxed. Not to worry, just keep calm and carry on, where there's danger we have guns and tanks and bombs, blow this unknown thing to bits, with some well aimed direct hits, then in no time, this fiend will be all gone. Alas persistence seems to be one of his keys, as the missiles fail to bring him to his knees, we shall strike a stronger blow, against this ogre of a foe, dispatch the nukes, and he'll be cast into the breeze.

A thoroughly enjoyable tale, reflects accurately the response of many when presented with difference and diversity, but also those who recognise its wonders.

Warning: you will not - repeat, WILL NOT - read a very honest and objective review here. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with tales originating from Scandinavian folklore, fairy-tales, and historic sagas, and it's literally since decades that I've been waiting for a film like "Troll". Well, I've been waiting for slightly more than just one decade, more specifically since the release of that other massively entertaining (and even better) "Troll Hunter".

This is the stuff we watch films for, is it not? An ancient and humongous creature, looking & sounding exactly like you have always imagined it from stories and drawings in children's books, exploding - literally - out of a picturesque mountain landscape and promptly pursuing its way to the capital of Oslo (Godzilla-style) and destroying everything on its path! Awoken due to mankind's inability to leave Mother Nature intact and at peace. Artillery cannot harm it. Tanks cannot slow it down. Army helicopters are plucked out of the sky as if they were toys. And, still, the only paleontologist who comes with effective alternative solutions to save the nation gets overruled by obnoxious politicians. Again, ... do you think I'm biased?

Of course, I'm not blind for the script's many defaults. The supportive cast largely exists out of cardboard stereotypes, like the comic-relief prime minister's advisor, the rebellious hacker-secretary, and the GI Joe army hero. The sub plot covering the estranged father-daughter relationship is also quite dire, and I deeply regret the fact writer/director Roar Uthaug didn't have the courage to show more violence and bloodshed. Presumably to safeguard the PG-rating, the Troll even has a conscience and refuses to squish little kids.

But seriously, it doesn't matter all that much, because everything revolves around the massive troll. It looks astonishing! It's a truly magnificent sight how the creature merges with the landscape, how it shrieks in melancholy, or how it rapidly and menacingly approaches from the horizon. Awesome, awesome, awesome!

Another detail that had made "Troll" even more fantastic would have been a soundtrack by the genius folk-metal band Finntroll. Granted, they are Finnish instead of Norwegian, but their lyrics and melodic tunes fit this film perfectly.

How can I be taken seriously when on a day when wannabe movie critics are crazy trying to see the new Sight & Sound's #1 (probably boring stuff), I'm here with my Nachos and my Gin & Tonic watching a giant troll destroying a country? I won't and I don't care.

Troll entertains, has good effects, destruction, lots of clichés, stupid humor, a frenetic pace, mythology, and stupidity in equal measure. A perfect film for anyone who has no pretensions to be the next Roger Ebert and just wants to have a good time.

And because I need some extra characters, I will tell you: this is the European Godzilla!