Goblin

Well, I must admit that I had expected just a bit more than what "Goblin" turned out to be. I mean, at least I had hoped for a proper creature feature of sorts, but instead I was served a slow paced storyline with a horribly CGI animated goblin.

One might hope that a movie such a the 2020 "Goblin" from writer Rosa Parnake and director Chris Lee would have turned out to be an interesting movie and a good addition to the creature feature genre, but that was most certainly not the case.

The storyline in "Goblin" was just so generic it was boring to watch. And it didn't help much that the pacing of the movie was so incredibly slow. Nor did it help much that the dialogue was as horrible as the characters were one-dimensional. Yeah, it just wasn't the finest moment of cinema history here.

For a horror movie, then "Goblin" was anything but scary. There was virtually nothing scary in the movie, unless you count really, really bad CGI as being scary. If so, then you're in for a treat. It puzzles me that movies with this level is dubious CGI still get to see the light of day in 2020.

"Goblin" is a movie that you might as well give a very wide berth, because it was not entertaining, nor was it particularly enjoyable either. Yet, I managed to sit through the ordeal right up to the bitter end.

My rating of "Goblin" is a mere two out of ten stars. You are best off spending your time, money and effort elsewhere, trust me.

Worst acting I've ever seen. No one in this movie has a normal conversation. Every time The Goblin eats someone it looks like they're 69ing and I'm pretty sure the mom is preggo with it's child at the end. Hilarious but unintentionally.

This is a posterchild of why you should not use CGI with a microbudget. It will almost inevitably come out looking cartoony and ridiculous. Combining that with a dark storyline about domestic abuse and over-the-top acting by the father and older son, you end up with almost constant tonal whiplash.

It's the kind of bad movie you find yourself enjoying because it feels like everyone involved cared about what they were putting together. I've seen way too many films where it feels like everyone is just there for a paycheck, so this is refreshing in that regard.

Ignoring the awful cinematography, acting, writing and directing, the thing that truly upset me was the animal abuse. There was a dog "acting" in this movie, but some of the squeals and very scared sounds that the dog made sounded much too real and that indicates that the dog was abused during the filming of this movie. It's disgusting and absolutely horrendous. That dog deserves better.

This is one hell of a mess and was the longest 68 minutes of my life. Terrible acting efforts, however, Joe Cummings managed to pull off his character. I wanted to punch the screen at my frustration at watching this. David Mason, wtf, has he never acted before, or even had any social interaction with anybody. Ashley Rene is well fit and kept my anger from boiling over into screen violence. Her acting ability might improve with experience. 1 star for the movie, Ashley Rene gets the other star. Expect nothing from this movie, put it on, walk out of the room, pop in after 11 minutes, hang around for about 20 seconds, leave again. You are safe to return after another 57 minutes.