Anaconda 3: Offspring

Harmless fun. A couple of giant, generically altered snakes break out and terrorize people. The snakes are not-great CGI, but they commit a lot of mayhem, probably more graphically than you'd expect. David Hasslehoff (yup, you read that right) leads the group that is chasing them. Best part of the flick, by far, is Crystal Allen, who plays a PhD and a snake expert, and she's my favorite type of snake expert PhD, the type that is a smoking hot blonde and spends almost the entire movie in a tight, form-fitting tank top. Crystal also works hard to sell her character, and she's fun to watch.

Debuted on Sci-Fi channel in advance of the DVD release, you could do a lot worse.

This gets my vote as the worst of the Anaconda movies. As a sequel and on its own terms, Anaconda III is wretched. The scenery/sets are quite nice and Crystal Allen is decent, but that's it. The photography is flat and rushed and the film looks as though it has been edited on a bacon slicer. The continuity is inconsistent as well complete with poor gore effects, the writing is vacuous and eye-rollingly cheesy in alternative to funny and the story is hopelessly predictable. The direction is sloppy, the music is generic and forgettable, the film is unevenly paced and unsatisfyingly resolved and the characters I didn't feel anything for. The acting is just dire, David Hasselhoff and Crystal Allen are the only ones who try and while the enthusiasm is admirable Hasselhoff is embarrassing in his acting and delivery, Allen however is far more believable and manages to be the film's sole redeeming quality. The other actors look bored and uninterested, and any scenes that tries to be suspenseful, atmospheric or frightening fails, instead it is laughable. Overall, dreadful sequel and film. 1/10 Bethany Cox

We went into this movie with incredibly low expectations seeing as we were looking for a bad movie that we could just laugh it. This movie far underachieved even my lowest expectations. The acting was worse then in a porno, there was no beginning or ending, it just went and at the first close up sight of the anaconda rather then feeling a slight chill every single person in the room burst out laughing. Throughout the entire movie I did not know a single characters name, because they didn't bother with character development of any sort. And the highlight of the movie was of course David Hasselhoff, who's mustache would mysteriously appear and reappear from scene to scene. All in all this movie was a masterpiece of terrible, perfect if your looking to mercilessly mock something with a group of close friends.

I knew from the beginning this will be a poor film, but didn't expect so many failures. To such an extent that this is more amusing than the movie itself.

Yes, the CGI is from 60-s, the acting is poor, except for Crystal Allen and Patrick Regis in few moments. But it is so funny to see anacondas move in a straight line - which is impossible for snakes! Or when David Hasselhoff dialled on the phone with all fingers simultaneously! I was sure he is misleading his companions and was surprised the phone call was not fake...

In a summary - if you enjoy to find silly mistakes in films - you're on a right place! But don't expect anything else from that movie.

OK, this is such a load of horse poo i give it a minus 1. So bad and cheap and again bad it is actually not even funny. Filmed in east Europe but failing east Europe standards - that says a lot. The entire film budget probably would not last for producing half a bay watch episode. Note the elegant transition because this brings us right to ...

And then there's the thing where this movie has THE HOFF in it, which counts automatically for 3 points. Making a total of 2 points.

I take it all warnings to watch this crap are in vain because YOU MUST HAVE THE HOFF! And right you are.

Trust in THE HOFF, THE HOFF is good.