The 3rd Guest

You know when there is a car accident on the road that you don't want to look at, but can't help it? This is the train wreck that you may peek at, but wish you didn't.

Absolutely the WORST movie I have seen in years.

After just 5 minutes, it seems that the movie throws its hands in the air and says "I have no clue".

The "script", (was there one really though?) was written AND directed by the same person (Sean Patrick cannon). It was erratic and confusing, as though he was spurting out a bunch of random ideas from his head, but had ZERO way, of liking them together in a cohesive way. Extremely obvious there was no script editor, and if there was-I hope they have another job to fall back on. THAT is how bad it was.

The movie is described as being a couple of ghost hunters who go to a site after the death of her daughter, only to discover that she starts to see her daughter. That is where the writers mission statement begins and ends. There was some very fractured and unfinished/unrefined things about a cult that we were given basically zero information on, leaving more questions than answers - but not in an entertaining intentional and plot driven way. It was "I really don't understand what is happening right now, or why".

Literally most of the movie were people not just screaming at each other, but verbally assaulting one another. It was very cringe.

The "acting" is MORE than just abysmal-especially the lead "actress" and the bartender. WAY too over the top and fake, it reminded me of kids in an elementary school play. But worse. Much worse. Sooo much worse. I may be wrong, but have a hunch that these people are family or friends of people who were involved in this project. I mean it when I say that while I was watching, I was actually embarrassed FOR these actors, that is how cringe worthy they were.

The ONLY possible redeemable thing this movie MAY have going for it is that it could be worthy of Rifftrax (Mystery Science Theater)

One of my new biggest regrets in life is not reading any reviews before spending £5 of my well earned money on this film. To add insult to injury, I didn't even just rent it, I bought it, which means I'm now stuck with it for eternity.

I have encountered a lot of injustices in this world, but the mere fact that this "film" was financed, filmed and then distributed may be the biggest one of all.

I've definitely seen more exciting Keynote presentations than this movie.

I can't tell you how this film ends as I lost all faith in life when one of the camera angles was a POV shot from a child's coffin.

For us, that really was the nail in the coffin.

Cabin-in-the-woods troupe with an interracial husband/wife on rough times. They have a hack ghost hunting business and take a lucrative job opportunity or they'll lose their house.

They have a recently deceased daughter and the daughter comes back to haunt them. They think it's the home-owner playing a prank. Slowly the wife dives into the history of the old house, and the cult leader / magician Karlov. The husband cracks and is possessed by this magician, turning on his wife.

It's a formula that worked well for Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer in 'What Lies Beneath', but with a non-existent budget and fresh actors, the slow methodical pace is hindered by obvious production issues.

The strength is in the setting, which is utilized extremely well for the budget limitations. The music is also orchestrated well.

First of all, the 8-10 star reviews are hilarious. Apparently every member of the cast and crew and their family members were required to write a fake review. How's this sound for a horror movie: husband and wife paranormal investigators who are traumatized by the loss of a child take a case in a strange little town and odd things happen. Been done, right? Not like this, it hasn't. You see, our "investigators" do not spend a second investigating - unless you call pretending to write and taking pictures an investigation. There apparently was cult activity at the site they're "investigating" but it's too much trouble to give us any real background on that. There may be a possession, we're not sure - that would have taken some effort to explore. Oh, and there may or may not be some parallel realities. Who knows? This is just a mess. An incoherent, dirt cheap, mess. If anyone involved in the making of this incompetent pile of no budget crap never works in film again it will be a blessing.

Yeah... it's got it all alright.... it's got mixed relations. It's got alphabet flags. It's got "hillbilly" backwoods. It's got racial accusations. The only thing it DOESN'T have is a plot. Or quality acting. Or a script. Or entertainment... But it's got all the boxes covered.

The acting in this, if you want to call it that, was abysmal, over the top and amateurish. The audio was all over the place - overly high in some places while way to much bass in others, completely obscuring most of the dialog. But, that may have been a blessing, though, because what dialog was understandable was ridiculous. Nothing in this waste of digital film made any sense at all. And no... the ending does not tie it all together.

If you read the other reviews, you'll see a theme. Most of them give top stars and then proceed to give similar comments that would indicate that the rating should have been a 1 or 2 at the most. The majority of the high scores here are paid.

Please avoid this at all costs. If not... you were warned.