Three Cheers for Satan

Plot, direction, jane Wilde what more😍😍 noir Kenzie.

Fuck yeah

It's 1999 and cheerleaders Kenzie Reeves, Kira Noir and Jane Wilde are complaining that they're 18 and graduating high school this year. Kenzie casually mentions that she'd sell her soul to look 18 forever. Principal Taylor appears in a puff of fire and brimstone. He's actually the devil .

The movie then jumps to 2019 and Kyle Mason is in town doing a photoshoot with Kira Noir and Kenzie Reeves. The girls flaunt their bodies for the camera. Suddenly, half the skin on Kenzie's face slips off and falls to the ground. Jane Wilde, Kira Noir and Kenzie Reeves hang out and ponder that they must sacrifice a virgin to preserve their eternal beauty. While Jane is OK with aging and sees no need to renew the contract, Kenzie and Kira have abused their bodies without consequence for the past 20 years and will not give up now.

I've resisted watching much of the prolific pornographer Joanna Angel's work over the years, tagging her as an untalented amateur. Her recent rise to pre-eminence in the new Adult Time porn universe, as well as collaborating with the great Kayden Kross, has made me check out her newest work, and this horror comedy comes up empty.

It's a spoof of that old Faustian bargain, with Small Hands as a high school principal who's really The Devil (with horns conspicuously coming out of his forehead), offering a trio of clueless cheerleaders a chance at eternal youth by signing on his dotted line. Well, not really eternal, as the contract comes up for renewal every 20 years, at which time they must present a virgin for sacrifice to Satan.

With crummy sets and crummier special effects, this stillborn comedy goes nowhere, merely an excuse upon which to hang four XXX sex scenes, suitable for Adult Time streaming. Angel insists on hiring Tommy Pistol as often as possible, and here he's abominable playing a teen nerd (at age 43, no less) who's a virgin!

Finale has Tommy magically transformed into a handsome 38-year-old in the form of Alex Legend, whose tattoos are the only point of resemblance, while cheerleader Jane Wilde becomes 38-year-old Joanna Angel herself, tattoos added. Note that Angel cast herself recently as a school kid (37 years old in real life) in the otherwise effective Pure Taboo drama "A Trailer Park Taboo".

The dialog is inane rather than funny, and the sex scenes heavy, as usual, on ink.