The Secret Life of the American Teenager

If you remember 7th Heaven, you probably noticed how the Camdens always suffered the same maladies at the same time. Mom's addicted to coffee, dad is taking too many Advil, son is smoking pot, other son is taking no-doz ... etc. You felt like you were getting hit over the head with the message every week, but at least it was a different message each week. Secret Life runs over you with a steamroller. Then, they back up over you and do it again, and again, and again, and OH Dear yet again. Aside from the flat, stereotypical, unlikable characters (yes, they even made a kid with Downs Syndrome a sex-obsessed total jerk too), they drone on and on about the only thing that is on any of their narrow minds. For fun, I counted the number of times they use the word "sex". It was 17 times just in the scenes from previous shows. For the show itself, the total was around 40 - including references to oral and anal sex as well as a mother recommending masturbation to her daughter. Of course, one must suspend disbelief while watching a fictional program, but how much can you hold back the urge to scream BULLS**T when a teenage boy tells his girlfriend that he wants to "have sex" for the fourteenth time in one episode. No teenage boy EVER got what he wanted by whining "I wanna have sex", yet this clown is climbing off of her in the very next scene. People DO NOT live this way. Although my daughter will not miss this show, I can see how one with no life experience might overlook the bizarre departure from reality. What I can't understand is why she devotes an hour of each week to something so bereft of entertainment value.

Amy Juergens (Shailene Woodley) is a teen band geek who got pregnant in band camp. This is a high school soapy drama with a whole bunch of young actors. They're all good actors. The fact is a lot of the characters are whiny and gossipy. The older actors who played the parents include Steve Schirripa, Mark Derwin, Molly Ringwald, and Josie Bissett.

This is sometimes slow and tiresome. I don't think the actors are at fault. It's all in the writing. The characters talk a lot, and a lot until they start talking in circles. They keep going over the same issues again and again. Usually it's relationship issues with each other. For some reason, it's quite addictive bad TV.

As a teenager--15 years old, in fact, the same as the main character--I have to say this is an awful, unrealistic, cardboard-cutout teenage drama program. While I understand the thinly veiled message of abstinence, it is not brought forth in a intelligent or believable manner. If we're old enough to have sex, I think we're old not to be pandered and talked down to, which seems to be the primary aim of the show. Amy, the main character, is a shallow, boring, sour character. The show's attempts to make her seem remotely geeky or normal at all tend to fall flat, and in general the plot and character development of all of the characters is very poor indeed. The script comes off cheesy and overdone, the acting is terrible, and it's really just a show of stereotypes, not interesting, complex people. Not real people. The dramatic story lines are not half as entertaining as they would be with real people, in real situations, with realistic reactions.

I am 15, going on 16 in a few weeks. Being around the same age bracket/grade as most of the characters in this show, I can honestly say it is really, really off. Even the most genuine characters are phony. There are plot holes all over the place, and most things are never explained. Remember Rumer Willis? Who, what, where, when, wtf? Amy's dynamic with everyone just sucks, especially with Ben. According to them, they were in love after like two minutes. (A side note, the world love is tossed around excessively on this show, along with sex, funeral, baby, etc.) If they are so madly in love, why do they seem to hate each other? Another thing that bugs me is how nonchalant the parents are about their young children having "serious' relationships. Just because you are a high schooler does not mean the only thing you think about is sex/omg I need a boyfriend! The whole show is going nowhere, but it has found its place in my TV schedule as comic relief. I'm in too deep now, but if I were you, I would avoid Secret Life at all costs.

If it wasn't for Mr. Jurgans, the show wouldn't have kept me interested. Such a poorly written show. I think it has good intentions but the acting is bad. BAD. The lines are very repetitive. They say something and then repeat it just in a different order. Over and over. Every episode, every season. All the characters. It's annoying. The word sex is said probably over 50 times every episode. I understand it's basically the main topic but it's overdone. There's not much depth to the show. Amy is a miserable, miserable character. I just want to scream at her to shut up and look at how lucky she is and just be happy and complaining allllll the time. Her 2 "best friends" are not believable. They're not even good friends. Well neither is Amy. The little sister Ashley has her moments. She's funny sometimes but most of the time she mainly is just a little brat and I wanna slap her. I wish they'd have given Jack more story lines. He's basically there just to beg Grace for sex. Over, and over, and over... Adrian is hit or miss. You like her for a few episodes and then shes horrible. Over and over.. I think my favorite part of the show might be when Ricky matures and the main Dads character. He makes the episodes. Great sense of humor. Very likable. If it wasn't for the 2 of them I might have given up a while ago. I know for most people they still won't make it very far. I really don't even know how to explain this show or review it honestly. I'm shocked it lasted 7 seasons. I guess preteen fans kept it running. Not shocked to see that really no one has much work after this show.. except Shaliene really.. and Grace who's in talentless hallmark movies now. (Not all hallmark actors are talentless though, I do adore a fair amount of them) I just felt like there could have been so much more potential with this show had maybe different people been behind the scenes and people worked with the actors a little more to make them better. Sorry this was a horribly written review. Just as horrible as the show. Haha but really, if you're like 13, you'll probably like the show.. until the very end.. can you even call it an end!?