The Dark Web Tapes

45 minutes of close up footage of 2 idiots doing nothing followed by horror that makes Scooby Doo look like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When something like this makes it to a streaming giant it means we have more streaming options then we need.

This movie is so bad its not even so bad its good. Its so bad it makes you wonder did these people owe a favor, are there nude photos of these people the director had as blackmail? This was so bad it made rubber seem like the greatest horror movie ever. The acting was bad the make up was worse and the idea that you are going to put something on your face you got from "the dark web" is so dumb its too dumb for a Rob Zombie movie dumb. Oh I know I just got this package from someone I don't know let me put on the face cream they placed in the box lmao.

Honestly? I'm not even sure this qualifies as a movie. It's just brutal. Has absolutely no redeeming qualities to it.

I know, some of you may be thinking.

Usually when someone says a movie has "no redeeming qualities" it's because this movie has some nasty disgusting, revolting scenes in it?

And those of you that love that sort of stuff goes "I gotta watch it!!"

Yeah, no.

It has none of that stuff. It's one gigantic snooze fest containing just 2 (or maybe 3) silly characters (hard to tell as the movie went on) that you'll find absolutely no spiritual, emotional or physical bound with going through some stupid podcast like "thing" (I don't even know how to describe it).

There's the "good" no redeeming quality movies (I Spit on Your Grave, Braindead, Salo, A Serbian Film, etc.) and then there's the "bad" no redeeming quality movies. This is the latter.

This film is not artistic or entertaining. It's a few poorly acted vlogs (the makeup tutorials are especially terrible, she needs to watch some makeup tutorials of her own) which run on for too long, and that's it. This isn't content you'd find on the dark web. I doubt the writer even knows what the darkweb is. Save yourself the trouble, unless you want to see how not to make a movie.

An hour of watching a lady apply makeup very poorly followed by horrible acting in what I suspect was supposed to be some horror? I've seen children write / produce better projects. I'm sad that I wasted my time on this. If the fake makeup tutorials had been better, I could have at least learned something... But nope. Just skip this one.