Blood is a very important thing, I mean very important. Without it people, mammals in general, birds, fish, lizards, hell even insects tend to die. I'm afraid that is indeed true, luckily for us "Tokyo Gore Police" teaches us that an ordinary human body contains enough blood to put the entire European continent under water... under blood really. But blood can be very helpful, amazing I know, but "Tokyo Gore Police" shows us how we can use this completely ordinary not-so-interesting combination of some cells and some plasma as a stylish fashion accessory for our daily clothes. Even more, blood can help a human being fulfill one of his most ancient, ever since that video on youtube with that guy running around flapping his arms, and holy desires, namely to fly. To do so you must simply cut off or saw of your legs from the knee down and the endless gush of arterial blood will do the rest. Blood can also be used for offensive purposes, to accomplish this we must simply combine ordinary blood tissue with some brain and voila, bloody brain bullets with some nice visual and physical effect, also that way you can save some iron, some petrol, some gun powder thus ending the Financial crisis.
But "Tokyo Gore Police" teaches us so much more. Here are some short descriptions of the wisdom and brilliance director Yoshihiro Nishimura and writers Kengo Kaji and Sayako Nakoshi demonstrate in this film, in no particular order: - don't ever get on the wrong side with a woman who has jaws for legs. - on that same note, sex really hurts. - I mean really really hurts. - The worst thing that can happen to you if you're a policeman wearing a modern samurai armor is your friend, comrade and colleague trying to kill you with his penis. - having four katanas instead of four limbs looks kind of awesome. - having four machineguns instead of four limbs looks kind of awesome. - if you're planning on doing a chainsaw duel with a friend, don't do it in a crowded area, people might get hurt, oh, what am I saying. - don't ever buy one of those fist firing miniguns, pretty useless stuff.
And if that's not all, "Tokyo Gore Police" continually mocks itself, in a way, satirizing the whole violence-obsessed media by means of mock commercials, much in the same ways as Paul Verhoven did in his classic "Starship Troopers".
And if you seriously think "Tokyo Gore Police" is more cynical than some random action blockbuster just because it shows actual violence on screen, you need to rethink your moral values.
Seriously now, it's a wonderful splice of pure Japanese splatter, that doesn't takes itself seriously, but is actually pretty smart and inventive monster of a film. And running at 2 hours long it never bores with its head-on, full throttle pace, the only thing you could wish for is a sequel. Yoshihiro Nishimura, Kengo Kaji, Sayako Nakoshi a tip my hat off to you sirs, because this is a film worthy of the title: bloody brilliant.
