Quotes

The Tourist

Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
Frank Taylor: What?
[Elise gives Frank a look]
Frank Taylor: Would you like to have dinner?
Elise: Women don't like questions.
Frank Taylor: Join me for dinner.
Elise: Too demanding.
Frank Taylor: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question.
Frank Taylor: [thinks for a moment] I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
[Elise smiles at Frank]

Italian policeman 2: You wish to report a murder.
Frank Taylor: Attempted murder.
Italian policeman 2: That's not so serious.
Frank Taylor: Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.

[last lines]
Elise: [on a boat with Frank/Alexander] 20 million dollars worth of plastic surgery... and that's the face you choose.
Frank Taylor: You don't like it?
Elise: It will do.

Elise: It's the um... the Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was little. She wanted to teach me that people have two sides. A good side, a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone we love. And I tried...
Frank Taylor: What's he like?
Elise: He's... different, from anybody I know...
Frank Taylor: Different's good. Where I come from, the highest compliment they can offer a person is to say that they're down to earth, grounded. I hate it. It drives me nuts!

Frank Taylor: I'm sorry!
Elise: What for?
Frank Taylor: Aha! Oh do you mind me smoking, it's not a real cigarette, look! It delivers the same amount of nicotine, but the smoke is water vapor.
Elise: That's somewhat disappointing.
Frank Taylor: Would you rather have me smoking?
Elise: I'd rather you be a man who does exactly as he pleases.

Elise: So, what are you doing in the city of lovers? Is there no one in your life?
Frank Taylor: [quietly] There was.
Elise: What happened?
Frank Taylor: She left me.
Elise: [looking down] I'm sorry to hear that, Frank.

Reginald Shaw: [walking forward, slowly] Alexander, is it you? Truly?
Frank Taylor: Truly.
Reginald Shaw: Show me your teeth.
[Frank opens his mouth, only showing his teeth]
Reginald Shaw: Aleaxander has crooked teeth, stained from excessive smoking.
Frank Taylor: Braces and electronic cigarettes.
Reginald Shaw: He had a high forehead.
Frank Taylor: I had a migraine for two weeks after the remodel.
Reginald Shaw: You sound different.
Frank Taylor: Voice chip implant.
Reginald Shaw: No, no. I mean the way you speak.
Elise: Yes, that's right. Alexander was English. This man is American.
Frank Taylor: [with a slight British accent] I've actually gotten so used to the American accent, I find it a tad difficult to go back.
Elise: [scoffingly] That's pathetic. This man is not Alexander Pierce! He's a tourist.
Reginald Shaw: A tourist?
Elise: Someone I happen to sit next to on a train.
Frank Taylor: [pointedly to Shaw] How would a tourist know that you kill every man your wife has ever slept with?
Elise: Because I told him that.
Reginald Shaw: [to Elise] You... told a tourist?
Frank Taylor: Why would she do that? It's absurd.

Chief Inspector Jones: Agent Ward, your suspension's lifted.
Elise: Thank you, sir.
Chief Inspector Jones: And your employment is terminated, effective immediately.
Elise: Thank you, sir.

The Englishman: [as he is restrained] I'm just a tourist. Just a tourist. He said I might get arrested at some point
Acheson: [taking the passport] What?
The Englishman: But then you'd have to let me go because you have nothing on me.
Chief Inspector Jones: Who?
The Englishman: The man that's been sending me these texts
[holding out his phone]
Acheson: [taking the phone] Texts?
The Englishman: And the money, of course.
Acheson: [looking through the texts in the phone] Let me get this straight, because I'm a little confused. You received money from a man you've never met before, who sends you text messages telling you just to show up somewhere?
The Englishman: [wistfully looking around Venice] Well, not just anywhere.

Chief Inspector Jones: [almost disdainfully] Alexander Pearce has seven hundred and forty four million in illegal assets that given he is a British subject we might seize. This operation so far has cost me eight million. If I thought there was more that a one in a hundred chance you could be success, it would be rational for me to continue this operation... I do not.

Elise: [as she reads the letter from Pearce] Elise, you have no reason to trust me anymore, but give me a chance to explain myself. I know the police are watching you. We have to throw them off the trail. Board the eight-twenty-two, the Gare de Lyon, pick someone my height and build and make them believe it is me. Burn this letter. It is important you follow my instructions precisely. I love you, Alexander.

Reginald Shaw: [preparing to cut her] You'll find life is not quite so giving to an ugly woman.

Reginald Shaw: [to his men about Pearce] You know he will be with her. They'll be staying at one of the grand hotels. The Gritti, the Regina, the Danieli. I want you to keep a watch on all of them. You can kill the girl, but you can't kill him. Not until I have my money that is.

[two thugs enter the hotel room. Frank locks himself in the bathroom and calls the reception]
Frank Taylor: Hello? please help!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: [answers the phone] Buongiorno, signore.
Frank Taylor: Buongiorno... I, I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door...
Hotel Concierge Alessio: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
Frank Taylor: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in!
[caught in panic, Frank tries to explain the situation in Spanish instead of Italian]
Frank Taylor: Dos hombres, con... con pistolas!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: [amused] Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
Frank Taylor: Thank you...
[the thugs shoot at the door. The bullets nearly hit Frank]
Frank Taylor: Ah, I gotta go!
[Frank drops the phone and exits through the window]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Sir?
[the concierge replaces the receiver]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: American!

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