A Savannah Haunting

What a load of rubbish! Absolute pants. Don't waste your time. The lesbian scenes are cringe and laughable. I get more of a fright opening my bills. I was intrigued that it supposedly was filmed in the original house. But that's not enough to endure this. It could have potential but it's all lost on a poor script, direction, acting. There are far many better horror films out there. I fast forwarded the end to put myself out of misery. These 10/10 ratings obviously were watching a different film! I'm unsure how movies like these get produced and who has enough money to waste on producing this drivel.

Plot

A family loses their young daughter in a tragic drowning and moves to Savannah, only to be haunted by her presence in their new home.

Cast

Not familiar with anyone involved but the writer is the director who is a character in the movie and also the person who has allegedly experienced all these paranormal instances.

Verdict

I'm not generally a guy who appreciates ghost themed movies, the reason? They tend to be the most trope laden cliched sub genre of all, and also a one used by those with minimal budgets as they don't require much on screen. A chair falls over by itself, a book falls of a shelf, mysterious noises, it's all very cheap.

Furthermore they often get pretentious and play the "Based on real events" card and I just can't take it seriously. Spoiler alert, no that thing didn't happen grow up. A Savannah Haunting doesn't just play that card, it plays the whole deck an doubles down by being made by the guy it happened to, in the house it supposedly happened and they spouted rhetoric about a haunting on set during production and staff members threatening to leave because of them. Yeah, right.

A Savannah Haunting trips, face plants into every imaginable generic horror trope get's up and goes butt over head back over again with some dreadful quality, mediocre performances and a finale that you will see coming from three continents over.

Rants

I'm going to break this to you gently, rip that bandaid off in one single smooth motion. There are no such things as ghosts, no spectres, no poltergeists, no phantoms, no things that go bump in the night. In the nicest way possible, grow up.

The Good

Considering the budget it wasn't the worst looking

The Bad

Cliche and trope ridden Couldn't be less original Hit and miss cast Very predictable Based on "Real" events in a supernatural movie is just silly.

There was some potential here for sure and it was lightly entertaining, but know that there is almost zero originality in this one. It felt like an amalgamation of every horror trope and cliché that you've ever seen being used as building blocks to create a generally mediocre film.

Now, while that sounds harsh, this wasn't totally unsuccessful. It held my attention enough and I was intrigued by said potential. I think two things that largely held it back were it's run time and the acting.

This one definitely dragged and I think with some editing and shortening providing for a more concise run, it would've been more successful. Also, the acting was generally unsuccessful and unconvincing. The stilted performances all around were distracting and pulled you out of the story. I think if you are able to look past these two major variables there is potential to be had.

This was mostly sitting at a 4 for me but I think it was recovered a bit largely due to the third act. It ended up becoming a bit more interesting and a bit more spooky. 4.5 rounding up to a 5 and I would only recommend if you have patience and a love for truly indi cinema.

There is not a single redeeming quality to this movie. There is not the tiniest little glimmer or scrap of originality, creativity, though, or lasting impression to be found. I am actually impressed at how every. Single. Thing. Was some kind of horror joke stereotype. I'm not just referring to the plot, but every camera shot, every setting, every character, line, "big twist reveal", even the line delivery and the expressions of the actors is somehow the exact same thing that is in a thousand other horror movies. Once again, I'm almost surprised that they were able to take every single trope from every single horror movie and combine it into one 1hr 40min string of cliche, after cliche that felt like being slapped across the face with a wet fish with every horribly overdone line, character, and camera shot that you feel you've seen hundreds of times before. It's such drivel that I genuinely considered it to be satire poking fun at all the tropes that so many horror movies use. But unfortunately I don't think so. They either really committed to the bit or everyone involved is so lacking of self awareness that they somehow can't realize that they've basically made nothing. Nothing as in something that is just purely devoid of anything interesting. I don't even know that I believe someone actually wrote this movie. I think they may have just rounded up some actors, handed out zero script, said two words to them all, "haunted house", and did everything in one take while everyone just kept saying the most generic lines off the top of their head. The only way you could ever have even a sliver of an enjoyable time with this movie is to get some friends together and just mystery science theater it, making fun of it throughout. Maybe make some "generic horror trope" bingo cards that would get filled up after just ten minutes. But even then it's still hard to sit through, and really I say just do not waste your time.

This is a hallmark "thriller" packaged as a true story, which it isn't. Capitalizing on a creepy, poorly decorated house in the South does not a horror movie make. Every trope and kitchen sink was thrown in, including a super weird teen lesbian relationship that had no bearing on the story. It just came across as a horny middle aged writer desperate for some young girl on girl porn. Major ick. The storyline was tedious, especially when characters don't behave and respond in rational ways. There's the classic medium character that keeps getting rebuffed, even though a 5 minute conversation would have cleared up everything. And don't get me started on the ending. It tried to channel Amityville but just ended up with a cheesy and incoherent mess. The bloody demon at the end with the cliché stilted walk was ridiculous, much like everything else in this movie. Not sure why a basement door was located in the boys bedroom closet, but sure why not. Funny how no one noticed it until the last 10 minutes of the movie. And we're left not knowing what happened to the family which is a total cop-out, but the mom gets to live as a catatonic humming idiot. Ugh. The 10 star reviews are obviously fake, but were more entertaining to read than this was to watch.