A Savannah Haunting

This is a hallmark "thriller" packaged as a true story, which it isn't. Capitalizing on a creepy, poorly decorated house in the South does not a horror movie make. Every trope and kitchen sink was thrown in, including a super weird teen lesbian relationship that had no bearing on the story. It just came across as a horny middle aged writer desperate for some young girl on girl porn. Major ick. The storyline was tedious, especially when characters don't behave and respond in rational ways. There's the classic medium character that keeps getting rebuffed, even though a 5 minute conversation would have cleared up everything. And don't get me started on the ending. It tried to channel Amityville but just ended up with a cheesy and incoherent mess. The bloody demon at the end with the cliché stilted walk was ridiculous, much like everything else in this movie. Not sure why a basement door was located in the boys bedroom closet, but sure why not. Funny how no one noticed it until the last 10 minutes of the movie. And we're left not knowing what happened to the family which is a total cop-out, but the mom gets to live as a catatonic humming idiot. Ugh. The 10 star reviews are obviously fake, but were more entertaining to read than this was to watch.

I'm sure there are some that will find this movie entertaining and while it wasn't a complete bore, personally, I've seen much better.

There's nothing new here, surprise, that you haven't seen before. It's amazing that these derivative movies continue to get made. Perhaps it's because there will always be an audience regardless of the lack of originality or the hope that this one will finally be different.

These are not spoilers as most viewers will arrive at the same conclusions or be left asking the same questions. Why always a doll and one that won't go away? Is this doll Annabelle's sister? Were the Warrens too busy to check this house out? Could the realtor be sued for not telling the prospective buyers about the homes haunted past? I mean, who would actually buy a home like that if they knew? And what's with the nude pool scene? That seemed so out of place and it really went nowhere. It left me thinking that the writer didn't have a long enough script so he threw that in there to make up the difference.

Act 3 raises the tension bar some but lacks any closure. It leaves us asking more than one question. Not a very satisfying denouement. I've watched other horror movies several times but this one, won't get a second viewing from me.

Plot

A family loses their young daughter in a tragic drowning and moves to Savannah, only to be haunted by her presence in their new home.

Cast

Not familiar with anyone involved but the writer is the director who is a character in the movie and also the person who has allegedly experienced all these paranormal instances.

Verdict

I'm not generally a guy who appreciates ghost themed movies, the reason? They tend to be the most trope laden cliched sub genre of all, and also a one used by those with minimal budgets as they don't require much on screen. A chair falls over by itself, a book falls of a shelf, mysterious noises, it's all very cheap.

Furthermore they often get pretentious and play the "Based on real events" card and I just can't take it seriously. Spoiler alert, no that thing didn't happen grow up. A Savannah Haunting doesn't just play that card, it plays the whole deck an doubles down by being made by the guy it happened to, in the house it supposedly happened and they spouted rhetoric about a haunting on set during production and staff members threatening to leave because of them. Yeah, right.

A Savannah Haunting trips, face plants into every imaginable generic horror trope get's up and goes butt over head back over again with some dreadful quality, mediocre performances and a finale that you will see coming from three continents over.

Rants

I'm going to break this to you gently, rip that bandaid off in one single smooth motion. There are no such things as ghosts, no spectres, no poltergeists, no phantoms, no things that go bump in the night. In the nicest way possible, grow up.

The Good

Considering the budget it wasn't the worst looking

The Bad

Cliche and trope ridden Couldn't be less original Hit and miss cast Very predictable Based on "Real" events in a supernatural movie is just silly.

There is not a single redeeming quality to this movie. There is not the tiniest little glimmer or scrap of originality, creativity, though, or lasting impression to be found. I am actually impressed at how every. Single. Thing. Was some kind of horror joke stereotype. I'm not just referring to the plot, but every camera shot, every setting, every character, line, "big twist reveal", even the line delivery and the expressions of the actors is somehow the exact same thing that is in a thousand other horror movies. Once again, I'm almost surprised that they were able to take every single trope from every single horror movie and combine it into one 1hr 40min string of cliche, after cliche that felt like being slapped across the face with a wet fish with every horribly overdone line, character, and camera shot that you feel you've seen hundreds of times before. It's such drivel that I genuinely considered it to be satire poking fun at all the tropes that so many horror movies use. But unfortunately I don't think so. They either really committed to the bit or everyone involved is so lacking of self awareness that they somehow can't realize that they've basically made nothing. Nothing as in something that is just purely devoid of anything interesting. I don't even know that I believe someone actually wrote this movie. I think they may have just rounded up some actors, handed out zero script, said two words to them all, "haunted house", and did everything in one take while everyone just kept saying the most generic lines off the top of their head. The only way you could ever have even a sliver of an enjoyable time with this movie is to get some friends together and just mystery science theater it, making fun of it throughout. Maybe make some "generic horror trope" bingo cards that would get filled up after just ten minutes. But even then it's still hard to sit through, and really I say just do not waste your time.

I attempted to watch this train wreck of a film or video I should say. Filmed in the hallmark channel style. I was disappointed and disturbed by the horrific acting, odd camera placement and shoehorned "relationship?", child *olestation scene perpetuated by a trespasser. These unrealistic, questionable situations made for a difficult watch. I is so sad how current 'filmmakers' lack basic storytelling skills. Every story seems to evolve into an opportunity to parade their personal political views. The african american angle was truly awful. The film comes off as nothing more than someone's effort to co-op any and everything 'popular', with millennials, into a mediocre story that fails to inspire anything but disgust and revulsion. So many unanswered questions, so few original ideas. I guess the film was a commercial for people to visit that little southern town? There certainly seems to be a disconnect between what the original vision was? And what someone else wanted to the film to be. The script could have used some more work it seems. And the underage filth could have been left on the cutting room floor. I can't imagine what a film like this could do for the talent involved. I wouldn't think much. A straight to video production at its best.