Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
Neil Patrick Harris
- Harold: You still haven't explained the gay thing.
- Kumar: You're not gay, motherfucker!
- Harold: At all.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.
- Kumar: What? Clay Aiken's not gay?
- Neil Patrick Harris: Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.
- David Burtka: I have Fred Savage on speed-dial.
- Neil Patrick Harris: FUCK Savage! That crack is mine!
- Neil Patrick Harris: What did I tell you about using tongue?
- David Burtka: You told me to make it realistic.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, realistic! Not fucking gay as shit!
- Neil Patrick Harris: Look, don't be alarmed... but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about... 35 seconds.
- Wafflebot: Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris?
- Neil Patrick Harris: Shut up! God, I hate this fucking pancake bot thing.
- Kumar: Dude, it's Wafflebot. Not a pancake bot, they're awesome.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Hey, waffle thing! Get the fuck out of my life!
- [kicks Wafflebot]
- Wafflebot: Ouch!
- Neil Patrick Harris: What can I do for you, my burglars of turd?
- Kumar: How the heck are you still alive?
- Neil Patrick Harris: What are you talking about?
- Harold: We saw you get shot! Remember?
- Neil Patrick Harris: You have to be more specific.
- Kumar: In that whorehouse?
- Harold: In Texas!
- Kumar: You branded a prostitute!
- Harold: Remember?
- Neil Patrick Harris: Oh yeah!