The Curse of La Patasola

Okay but seriously, who wrote this? Are we trying to make this about politics, couples counseling or love affairs? Cuz I honestly cant decide. The question on my mind is why the F this is under horror? I mean? Have you ever seen a real life horror movie?

Idk yall, they just dont make em like they used to.

But to make a horror movie like this, even on homemade scale and underbudgeted, and with such headshaking and so inconcievably unconvincing actors talking dull dialouges in the car, the tent and around the camp fire, well youll be unfortunate if you find anything worse than this.

Stay away is the grumpy old mans advice.

Right, well of course I hadn't even heard about this 2022 horror movie titled "The Curse of La Patasola" from writers AJ Jones and Shaun Mathis. But still, since it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to sit down and watch it.

Needless to say that I wasn't harboring much of any high hopes from director AJ Jones given the movie's fairly low rating here on IMDb. But still, the movie might actually be something that entertained me, despite of having obviously not entertained many others before me.

Well, "The Curse of La Patasola" was a very, very bland and generic horror movie. So you are not in for a particularly grand horror experience when and if you sit down to watch this 2022 horror movie. The storyline seems to borrow somewhat from tales as La Llorona for example, which paints "The Curse of La Patasola" in a somewhat rip-off light.

Sure, I managed to sit through the entire movie, though I was only slightly entertained. The movie just didn't come off as being particularly interesting in terms of originality, storyline, characters and dialogue. It was all something that was very generic for the horror genre in general.

Visually then "The Curse of La Patasola" was okay. The movie doesn't make use of a lot of special effects, but the creature itself was adequate. And while it did count for something, it just wasn't enough to make up for the shortcomings and mediocrity that is "The Curse of La Patasola".

I wasn't familiar with the cast in the movie, and it was a shame that they didn't really have much to work with in terms of script, characters, dialogue and such. Of all the performances in the movie, it was Najah Bradley (playing Naomi) that stood out as the best and most memorable.

My rating of "The Curse of La Patasola" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.

I could be here for hours typing out every reason this movie is awful. I never write reviews because I have better things to do, but this deserved a little more of my time.

In short, awful characters, cheesy as hell, predictable, poorly executed, inconsistent, etc. Zero cool death scenes to redeem it! There's also nothing vampire-like about the Pasatola like the movie description said. I expected it to be like a La Llarona knock off but it's not even that good. On the bright side, it's a true inspiration for anyone thinking about taking a shot at their own low budget movie. Literally anyone could do better.

This movie wasn't as bad as a lot of people make it out to be, the plot was interesting and I found myself wanted to see what was gonna happen next and kept me in agony, but sure it had many dumb decisions from the characters and that monster looked ridiculous, wasn't scary.