Teenage Vampire

When I sat down to watch the 2020 movie "Teenage Vampire", I must admit that I wasn't really harboring much of any hopes for this turning out to be a particularly great movie, given the title of this movie. But still, with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give "Teenage Vampire" a chance.

And as I had initially anticipated, then writers Aaron Lee Lopez and Paul Matthew Lopez didn't really manage to deliver a movie that was entertaining to me. I suppose I was just not the right target audience for a movie such as this 2020 movie.

The movie had a nice enough production value to it and good editing, sure. But the storyline was a swing and a miss in terms of providing me with much entertainment or enjoyment. And truth be told, I made it about halfway through, then I just gave up on it because I was growing more and more bored.

The acting performances in the movie were adequate, but again, there wasn't much in terms of storyline, character gallery or dialogue that appealed to me, so it was difficult to get submerged into the performances put on by the actors and actresses in the movie.

My rating of "Teenage Vampire" lands on a mere four out of ten stars.

It feels like this film had some idea of what it wanted to be, but it just never quite hits the sweet-spot of nostalgic cheese it was obviously aiming for. You can tell a conscious attempt was made to keep the decade that TEENAGE VAMPIRE is set in purposefully vague (although a high-tech bowling alley and the presence of a cell phone thwart this attempt somewhat), but a slightly bigger budget might've helped in overcoming the obvious limitations in the final result.

The traditional oversimplified high school movie cliches are present and accounted for here, including the not-so-secretly gorgeous nerd girl lead character who undergoes a transformation from drab to fab thanks to her newfound supernatural powers, her awkward but sassy best friend, and her annoying dorky little brother. The vampire cheerleader clique comes across as typical mean girls, but they don't have the supernatural otherworldly charm that you'd expect from bloodsuckers who've been the popular kids for literally decades.

Of course, the main target audience for this movie is Gen-Z tweens and teens, who might look up from their phones long enough to be mildly entertained. Their Millennial parents who attempt to watch along with them will definitely catch a familiar scent from their own childhood, but the potential is ultimately wasted in a film that neither works as a dark teen comedy nor a cheesy teen comedy.

The actors are definitely in the *GROWTH* stage of their career, but I thought it was cheesy fun. There were some good satirical moments that I found refreshing after the never ending onslaught of Sensual Vamp movies. I think it will be fun to see some of the main actors grow in their careers and pursue their potential. Some of the one-bit characters were REALLY cringy with their acting, but I found it entertaining imaging the director talking his neighbor into being in this vamp movie. If you plan on watching it, just be prepared for 90 minutes of extreme cheesiness and you may enjoy the experience. That said, I did watch it on a streaming service which displayed it like a blockbuster, so what I got really threw me for a while.

I find it really important to consider the target audience when reviewing a movie.

The target audience for this movie is ages 11 to 15, with 12 to 13 being dead on. Rating should have been PG13 for kissing and a little booze. There is not a single swear word and at the most a bit of french kissing. Other than that its squeaky clean. Rare now a days even in kids movies.

It has heart. Yes, its cheesy. Yes, the acting is only ok. The plot is paper thin. But it does entertain. Would I play it for a bunch of adults? Heck no. But for a bunch of tweens near Halloween time it is fine, specially with popcorn and snacks. They will have a good time.

Don't judge a book by it's cover, except here you can. From the title to the stupidly bad cover. Pure trash in every way. Avoid like the plague. They also closed the comments on the official Youtube trailer. You hardly need to guess why.