Elvis Costello credited as playing...
Self
- Elvis Costello: Thank you Father Christmas. You got me just what I wanted most: the gift of not being digested by a bear.
- [Elvis Costello materializes outside the cabin]
- Elvis Costello: What?
- Stephen Colbert: Elvis!
- Elvis Costello: Stephen! How did I get to your mountain cabin?
- Stephen Colbert: It's a Christmas miracle! Oh, nothing can stop my Christmas special now!
- [Elvis is immediately attacked by the bear]
- Elvis Costello: Thank you, Father Christmas. You got me just what I wanted most: the gift of not being digested by a bear.
- [Last lines; as the end credits are rolling]
- Elvis Costello: [interrupting] Wait!
- [singing]
- Elvis Costello: Jingle Man, Christmas Boy, fighting crime with *toys*!
- Stephen Colbert: That's it! I'm gonna put on a pot of coffee, Elvis. We got a Christmas special to write!