- Wade Wilson: Logan, you know any good jokes?
- Logan: Oh, you mean besides your face?
- William Stryker: That's it! Wilson, I want you radio silent from here on out! Got it? Wilson!
- Wade Wilson: What? You said maintain radio silence.
- William Stryker: Fair enough. Just didn't imagine you'd listen. I thought you might be dead.
- Logan: Hm. We should be so lucky.
- Logan: You took her away from me, Victor, and now you're gonna pay!
- Victor Creed: I see why you liked her. She tasted like strawberry pie.
- Wade Wilson: Hey Logan, whatcha doin'?
- Logan: Shut up, Wilson.
- Wade Wilson: A sphincter says what? Come on, a sphincter says what? Aw, you're no fun.
- Fred Dukes: [to Logan] Your knives don't scare me, shrimp. They just make me wanna carve up a turkey!