Quotes

Out of Toon/Hail Doofania!

Mom: [as the arrive in the backyard] Well, I'm here. Where is this giant animation studio?
Candace: It got up and it danced away.
Mom: It what?
Candace: It got up AND it "danced" away.
Mom: [very skeptical] It got up and danced away?
Candace: [sighing] See? It even sound crazy when YOU say it... I'll be in my room.

Mom: [to Candace] You think you feel ridiculous? I'm carrying a jackalope into a lawn mower store.

Candace: [on her cell phone] Mom, Mom!
Mom: [voicemail recording] Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys after the beep.
Candace: Ahhh! Mom, come home quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a super-fiend. I'm roasting them with laser vision, and... Hey! What do you mean "psychotic rant"?

Charlene Doofenshmirtz: [about miniature city] Heinz, you made a plush model?
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I had a lot of felt!
Charlene Doofenshmirtz: Well, at least it holds together. Remember that dining set you tried to build for our apartment?
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: It's hard to forget when you keep reminding me!

[the dancing ray has zapped Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry, causing them to dance together]
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: To add insult to injury, the platypus is leading.

Phineas: [as the computer scans the kids one by one] I'd like my cartoon character to have the power to be everywhere at once. I'd be called Multi-Man! And Ferb would have a utility belt, and use lots of crazy gadgets! He'd be called um, Ferb Guy!
Candace: Well, I would have super mind-control and use telepathy and telekinesis to keep you super-dweebs under control with your lame-o superpowers.
Phineas: We could call you Control Freak!

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: [singing the Doofania national anthem] In the bay of the coast of the tri-state area/Floats a country for me and me/It's new, it's bright/And it's founded on spite/And it's everything I dreamed it would be/Hail, hail Doofania!
[stops singing; to Norm]
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Does it feel like it stops too quick there? We'll work on it.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: [hearing machine sounds] Hold on, Lacey. I can't hear myself gripe.

Stacy: [on the phone to Candace] Candace, I heard you're goth now. Why didn't you tell me?

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: [after he tells her about his fort] You do know what this means?
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: That we'll have that special daddy-daughter bond you always craved?
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: No. It means I'm finally gonna have proof. You are busted. I'm gonna tell mom.
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: [unfazed] Great... Tell her what?

Ferb: [after Perry accidentally hits a button on the Rainbowinator, causing it to explode] You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self-destruct button in the first place.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: [wearing Candace's clothes] I look like a walking candy cane!

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: Mom, mom! You gotta come quick! I finally have proof that dad is evil.
Charlene Doofenshmirtz: [over the phone at the spa] Vanessa, honey I'm having my me-day. Remember? Look hon, why don't you give your old dad a break. Try to make the best of it and I'll pick you up later.

Mom: [carrying Perry] Hi, boys!
Phineas: Hi, mom. What's with the satellite-dish?
Mom: It's a protective collar. The vet says Perry needs to wear it for the rest of the day. I still don't know how he scratched himself up so much.

Candace: [all dressed in black, upset] Mom! This is a total disaster.
Mom: [walking into the living room] What, what?
Candace: The dry cleaners switched my clothes with some goth chick! I look like a total freak, like I'm all outsidery!
Phineas: I wonder what happened to Candace's clothes?

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: [on her cellphone, wearing Candace's clothes] I can't believe it, Lacey. I look like a walking candycane.

Norm: Watcha doin'?
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Watcha doin'? What does it look like to you? I'm building an evil empire. My own very fortress of eviltude.
Norm: Aren't you a little old to be building a fort?
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No. No, I'm not. Shut up.

Isabella: Hi, Phineas. Watcha doin'?
Phineas: Well, you know how you said you never seen a rainbow in real life?
Isabella: Well actually I...
Phineas: [uncovering the machine] Behold! The rainbowinator!
Isabella: Well that's nice, Phineas. But I...
Phineas: It uses real crystals and is super charged with fruity rainbow flakes.
Isabella: You don't understand. I...
Phineas: [getting maniacal] Soon there will be a giant rainbow that will sprawl across the tri-state area!
[calming]
Phineas: Or at least, that's the plan any way.

Buford: [asked what his cartoon character should be] That's an interesting question you pose, as it reveals not only one's impulses and desires, but one's deepest fears as well. I'll go with Belchman. You know, fights crime with different kinds of burps.

Jeremy: Whoa. Candace, are you going Goth now?
Candace: Uh, uh, I'm not wearing this. I mean, I'm wearing it in that it's actually on my body right now, but I'm not attached to it. Not to say that I'm attached to my other clothes. I mean, I can actually take them off. No, no, no. But, I mean... I didn't want to put these... I want to put clothes on, but I... It was a mix-up, Okay? The dry cleaners and a... a jackalope lawn mower, and...
[pants]
Candace: Do you like it?

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