Monsters of War

Chrissie Wunna is the worst actress I have ever seen. Horrible. Seriously, she is the worst.

When I sat down here late in 2022 to watch the 2021 movie "Monsters of War", I had never actually heard about the movie. I stumbled upon it by random chance, and I must admit that I found the movie's cover to be interesting enough to make me sit down and give it a chance.

Now, anyone familiar with the production level of the average movie from The Asylum might find "Monsters of War", though it was not one of their movies. In fact, "Monsters of War" outdid the usual level of lousy movies they did. So yeah, you are truly in for a dumpster fire of a movie, should you opt to sit down and watch "Monsters of War".

Writer Scott Jeffrey put together a scrambled jumble of a storyline for the movie, one that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. So if you want a movie that is all over the place without making an ounce of logical sense in any way, then by all means give "Monsters of War" a chance. I prefer a movie that provides proper entertainment when watching it, and writer Scott Jeffrey failed on an epic scale here.

The acting performances in "Monsters of War" were terrible, one and all. I swear, it was as if director Jack Peter Mundy went out of his way to ensure that the entire cast ensemble was everybit as dubious, wooden and rigid as the mutation of a script he was handed by Scott Jeffrey way. Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, I was only familiar with actress Chrissie Wunna.

Visually then you're in for quite a treat here. Yeah, the special effects and the CGI effects in "Monsters of War" were indeed exactly that - special. The CGI was such an eye-sore to behold on the screen, and it was difficult to fathom that something that bad would actually get around to seeing the light of day in 2021.

It was as if the people behind "Monsters of War" were virtually going on all in on every front in making "Monsters of War" every bit as horrible, laughable and poor as humanly possible.

Do yourself a huge favor and stay well clear of this heap of dung disguised as a movie.

My rating of "Monsters of War" lands on a one out of ten stars.

The story of this movie had potential. The acting, therefore, is ridiculously bad. The children who are cast have null charisma and what the children lack in acting talent the rest compensates for with terrible overacting. The local amateur drama society employs more credible actors. The monsters in this movie are quite imaginative, but the execution is downright bad. The CGI looks ridiculously cheap. I can't believe anyone put the time and money into making this. Sometimes there are those movies that are so bad it's still funny to watch but this just hurts your eyes. Avoid this movie at all costs. Go do something fun with your time. Go scrub a toilet, iron the laundry, or literate your stamp collection. These are 81 minutes of your life you will never get back.

Sadly, the acting in this film is High School film class quality. The lead actress has fake eyelashes long enough to dust furniture and the poor kids are smiling at times when they're supposed to be terrified.

After an earthquake (?) a woman taking her kids to Grandma's house stops along the side of the road and hears loud scratching noises on the roof. ANYONE with even a lick of sense would drive off, instead, her and the kids get out and see a monster on the roof. Then instead of jumping back into the car where it's safe they run away with all the quickness of a sloth. They come across two guys covered in blood that tell them there's monsters nearby and that they came from a cave. They hear growling noises coming from inside the cave and what do they do? They run into the cave. The woman and kids then run to a house with a front door that couldn't stay closed against a slight breeze let alone monsters. There's a motley crew of people inside including a nun with a bad accent and changing complexion, and 4 others. The CGI isn't super bad but the writing, the terrible acting and bad plot lines (people do stuff that no one would ever do) just distract from everything so much that it's unwatchable. Nobody in this movie is afraid, there's T-Rex, giant spiders and other monsters running around and nobody shows even a hint of terror. Even though a couple of the actors give it a valiant effort, it's just terrible directing. Not worth seeing this one.

The CGI was really good, but the acting came out of a Cracker Jack Box. The facial expression you can tell the lead actress was trying too hard with extra long eyelashes. The kids had no emotion. I want my time back.